Laura Hulme

Writer. Allegedly insane but not yet committed.

[Kat Abughazaleh @KatAbughazaleh]

so apparently Zelenskyy won the Ukrainian version of Dancing with the Stars in 2006 and the tape is even better than whatever you're imagining

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

I don't want a career, I want to work as a cleaning lady in a mobile castle owned by a narcissistic wizard.

[Andrea Junker @Strandjunker]

If you will carry one of Donald’s Trump cards but won’t wear a mask because you believe it will block the oxygen to your brain — don’t worry, that ship has already sailed.

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

A patient referred to the mammogram machine as the 'snackwich machine of doom' and now I can't think of it as anything else.

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

I need to stop watching horror movies, they keep giving me the urge to write a 1000-word opinion piece.
https://t.co/q6oVTsUVlo

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

7 Minimalist items I can’t live without
https://t.co/4d26yWIlfC

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

Maria Goretti was one of the youngest saints. She was declared a martyr when at 11 she refused the sexual advances of a 20yo man, who stabbed her multiple times. If that counts as a martyrdom, then there are a hell of a lot of dead women and children who are owed a sainthood.

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

🎵HE HAD IT COMING🎶

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

Today I learned that the fossa from the Madagascar movie are real and terrifying, even the baby ones.

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

6 Common household items that you don't need as a minimalist https://t.co/fDAvdGJlaM via @wordpressdotcom

[Den Anker Restaurant @den_anker]

We’re extending the UCT dinners for the week. We will provide a different meal each night. Tonight is spaghetti bolognese.

#DenAnker #NewlandsFire #CapeTownFires #UCTStudents #Fire #CapeTownFire

[Den Anker Restaurant @den_anker]

Any UCT res students who have been directly affected by the fire are welcome to come over to Den Anker this evening.
We will serve you a plate of food, you will need to provide us with proof of your res card.
#DenAnker #NewlandsFire #UCTStudents #Fire #CapeTownFire

[Dylan Graham @TheDylanGraham]

Please be aware that wild animals may end up in residential areas as they try and escape the fire. Twitter doesn't need your video of the animals, instead contact Animal Welfare or one of the other Animal rescue agencies #capetownfire

[Erika Bornman @EBee40]

If you’re close to the fire and you’ve pulled over to get a video, know this: Twitter does not need your video. Cape Town needs you to get your car home and off the roads right now. You’re making it worse! #capetownfire

[rivkah reyes 🍉 @rivkahreyes]

A THREAD: here is why I am ready to move past the whole school of rock thing

(tw: mental illness, EDs, addiction, abuse)

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

Hey @BBC @comicrelief for next red nose day we want Crowley and Aziraphale K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

[Ash @_ash_x]

I found it. The greatest video on TikTok

[Laura Hulme @RealLauraHulme]

The one nice thing about having tiny feet is that I can buy the more awesome shoes in the kids' section, because I'm a grownass woman and I'll buy sparkly purple converse if I want to. Fuck the system.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

"It's deceptive, the universe, 'cause from the outside, if you're God, it looks quite small. But when you're in there, it's really quite spacious, with plenty of storage." JEREMY HARDY