Morris Bart alt

driving with gumbo without a top

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

It’s really not crazy at all

[speckzo 🇻🇦 @realspeckzo]

It’s crazy how Trump’s biggest supporters turned on him, and he lacks the self-awareness to look in the mirror and realize that maybe he’s the problem. Instead, he just posts boomer slop mocking the people who got him elected for wanting him to do what he promised.

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

White people be like I showed my dog Squidward’s suicide

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

This was the first superbowl in history

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Kyle shanahan using CMAC

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: The UK sends a single soldier to defend Greenland, Norway sends two.

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Regime change for the 49ers defense next please

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

“It’s very important you attend orientation students!”

The orientation:

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

If there’s even a remote possibility my tax dollars help underprivileged children get the greatest candy on earth then I am happy

[RichardRatBoy @RichardRatBoy1]

Taxpayer funded Nerd Gummy Clusters

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

OKC was the first team to win based solely on the power of friendships

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Terry Rozier’s lawyers trying to defend him selling games

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Tell the girls I’ve got the gov shutdown situation handled

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Nobody uses their phone more than an uber driver on the freeway

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

If she your girl why does she hope her email finds me well?

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

[C3 @C_3C_3]

Antifa is the military wing of the Democrat party.

Legacy Media is the propaganda wing of the Democrat party.

Simple.

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

She raided my John so I had to bolt

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Gonna choose one star friend to be mic’d up during my wedding

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

I ain’t neva seen a big boi get on tha roof

[CSPAN @cspan]

Spotted: President Trump atop the White House.

Q: "Sir, why are you are on the roof?"

Q: "Mr. President, what are you doing up there?"

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Socially communist and fiscally capitalist

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

*guy who has been offline for the past 10 years now getting into twitter*

“Wow, Luke Skywalker just OWNED the president! I did NOT have that on my bingo card!”

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

I’ve seen it done before

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

Robert Eggers, director of The Witch (2015), says his number one tip for screenwriters is: never put a goat in your movie.

"You can't train a goat, the goat was a fucking nightmare"

[Morris Bart alt @RealLifeZach]

Head of HR just got me Tame Impala tickets what do I do