Have you ever arrived at the theater after many people in your row were seated, and counted on their accepting the inconvenience of having to let you crowd by them to reach your seat? Equivalent courtesy should be extended to those who are departing before you.
Miss Manners starts from the premise that gift giving is a choice—not a requirement—and that gratitude is therefore always the correct response absent direct evidence of malicious intent.
Contrary to popular belief, it is the restaurant’s job to provide proper utensils for eating, not the customer’s responsibility to figure out how to do without.
People selling things and those in their grips—which, these days, seems to be everyone—promote the idea that Technology Changes Everything. Miss Manners has noticed that this is seldom the case as regards etiquette.
Meetings should start on time. Only the person who brings home-baked treats is forgiven for bursting in a few minutes late. Social events tend to allow a tiny bit of leeway, even though the host then has to listen to tedious descriptions of the traffic.
Miss Manners will point out that good manners need not mean being bulldozed by others. Politely setting boundaries is warranted, especially when it is also for the benefit of everyone else.
Who even knows what “wedding” means now? The term is used to mean extravaganzas lasting over several days, which may or may not include the act of getting legally married, either because the couple is already married, or because they do not intend to get married.
What Miss Manners objects to in party invitations is the deception. If you are inviting people to a party, you should not expect them to contribute. But if you are inviting them to a fundraiser, you are expecting them to contribute—it is right there in the title.
Someone who cares about the people involved in a wedding enough to attend will also want to give something symbolic of good wishes. Anyone who doesn’t care all that much need only decline and offer written good wishes.