Mitt Robot

Conceived by a secret private sector program funded by the government.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

When do I get to be president?

[Chris Hayes @chrislhayes]

Horrifying: http://t.co/AnlrjcCrAS

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

I am announcing my candidacy for 200016.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

I'm still going forward with my inauguration plans. Please join me. #Mitt2012

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

Every times there is a mass shooting, leaders cry for "soul searching." In my soul is an obvious need for gun reform.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

Hello, is this thing on? @Rick_Gorka? Help me.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

@Rick_Gorka hey buddy, try switching to decaf.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

I've got a great recipe for poor people. Not too crispy.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

While my campaign falls apart, nothing like meeting Arnold Palmer to add another layer of irony.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

So I had the Olympic Torchbearer uniforms outsourced to Burma? So what? Human Rights violations don't mean anything.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

Jesus H. Why is my campaign so inept? I'm a robot for Pete's sake. @Rick_Gorka what's going on?

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

No fucking way am I releasing my taxes. That would be suicide.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

I demand an apology from the Apologizer-in-Chief!

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

I like hiding behind the wives of Democratic losers. #Heinz

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

Part of President is not taking responsibility for things.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

Just because my name is at the top don't mean I know what my company is doing. I saved the Olympics Goddamnit!

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

So what? I got $100,000 a year for not doing jack. Last I heard that's called "winning" and America needs a winner in the White House.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

@Rick_Gorka would you please explain to these idiots that just because I was CEO, Chairman of the Board, and President doesnt mean I knew.

[Mitt Robot @RealMittRobot]

Clearly @TPM stands for TorPedo Mitt. No one is supposed to be doing journalism. This is a presidential campaign for Pete's sake.