Nigga Turtle

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

H.o.e.s = Happily offering everybody sex.

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Mom: Son, Can you please clean the fish I bought from the market? Son: WTF?! Mom: What does WTF mean? Son: Where�s the fish?!

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

I take people seriously... When they tell me to make myself at home, I move their furniture around walk around naked and yell at their kids.

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

I'm allergic to haters. Side Affects: May cause me to slap a bitch

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

SWAG means "She wants a gentlemen"

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

10: I whip my hair back & forth. 16: I pass my blunt back & forth. 30: I drive my kids back & forth. 80: I rock my chair back & forth.

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

That awkward moment when you see twins fighting and one of them calls the other ugly.

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Elephant: "Why do you have boobs on your back?" Camel: "Thats a stupid question coming from someone who has a penis on his face."

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

They say love is more important than money... Bitch have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug!?

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

At a Birthday Party, Chuck Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

#HoesOutHereTwerking just for a Retweet or Follow Back!

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Me: How do you spell this word? Teacher: Look it up in the dictionary Me: HOW THE F-CK WILL I FIND IT IF I CANT SPELL IT!?

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Girlfriend: Baby, I'm getting fat (._. ) Boyfriend: No you're not. You've always been fat.

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

ME: "I'm hungry." FRIDGE: "Don't care." CABINET: "LOL don't look at me." FREEZER: "LOL nigga, you like ice?"

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Can you please be serious ? "Ok, ok... I'm gonna be serious now." *DEEP BREATH..* *Bursts out laughing*

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Me: "look at the doggie" *gets closer* Dog: "Woof Woof Bark Bark" Me: "F*ck you too then!"

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Teacher: "You have a 3 page essay due tomorrow." Me: "Bitch, I have tweets to f*cking tweet and bitches to hate on Facebook."

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question can go home." *Boy throws bag at teacher* Teacher: "Who threw that!?" Boy: "Me! I'm going home!"

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

Lazy Rule: If you spill water. It will eventually dry.

[Nigga Turtle @RealNiggaTurtle]

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE WHORE you're at school, not Jersey Shore. you're a slutty, orange mess PLEASE GO FIND A LONGER DRESS.