The Real Rodney Lacroix

Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: | Latest Tweets:

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Me: [watching football]

Wife: [silently reading at the end of the couch for three quarters of the game]

Announcer: That was a huge sack!

Wife: BAHAHAHA HUGE SACK

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

@2Page Damn skippy.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

I'm sailing Celebrity Edge to Alaska July 2-9, 2027 — drinks & Wi-Fi included, inside from $1,198 pp, and a $500 refundable deposit!

Info here: https://t.co/9SHOE0pQ21

Come with me! You'll see me drunk and cold!

Like everyday in winter.

This is a legit @RodTripTravel deal.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

Saw a group of ladies oohing and aahing over pics on a phone. I figured it was some handsome celebrity but it turned out to be a new refrigerator. Middle age is wild.

[meghan @deloisivete]

Accidentally closed most of my tabs, and I think I'm just going to let them go at this point. Please respect my privacy during this trying time

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

@juliaeatsjulia YAY!!!!

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Thank you, veterans.

Without you fighting for our freedom, 99.99% of us on social media would have been executed by now.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

@_midori_me_ Okay. I will also not give you a dime.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Our youngest just received her first college acceptance letter so if you need me I'll be filling out a form for our 4th mortgage.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Happy Veterans Day to all the heroes, past and present, who have way more balls than I do.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

@GgginKC I was going to do that after I had my mid-afternoon Jell-O.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

Just aged myself. I was on a call with two support engineers as they were showing me how to replicate a software bug. The issue was that some data wasn't showing in a table.

Their screen was zoomed in SO MUCH I couldn't focus. I asked them to zoom out.

VOILA. There was the data. Hidden under a scroll bar the whole time.

Support: Oh, man. So I just need to tell him to zoom out?
Me: Wait. Is your customer's screen this big, too?
Support: Yes.
Me: Who's your customer? Mr. Magoo?
Support:
Me:
Support:
Me: He was an old blind cartoon guy you know what never mind just tell him to zoom out.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

The Chronicles of NVIDIA: The Lion, The Witch, and the Side Piece.

[SlenderSherbet @SlenderSherbet]

Me: "I need to stop buying unnecessary stuff and save money"

Amazon: Your tortoise's crochet bonnet has been delivered.

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

just put up the tree

[ThexyBeatht_ @ThexyBeatht_2]

Neighbors are arguing outside. Time to go vacuum the driveway

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

head of Chinese spy agency: did you successfully honeypot the target

me: [in a Winnie the Pooh costume] okay so I think there's been a misunderstanding

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

[6 AM]

Me [singing]: Iiiiiiiii don't wanna work....I just wanna bang on this bum all day...[smack smack smack]

Wife: Go away.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

@AllenAyres My favorite.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love standing next to this building. One of my favorite places anywhere.

[The Real Rodney Lacroix @RealRodLacroix]

@barbarajean9999 YEP!