Ron Burgundy

I am better than you. If you disagree, you will receive a swift kick to the mouth. *PARODY*

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

RT if you think that Anchorman 2 being rated PG-13 is bullshit

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

I am hungry 25 hours a day.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Girl’s eyebrows nowadays look like Nike signs...

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Sarcasm is always the best answer to a stupid question.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Don't tickle me, I’ll stab you in the throat.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Then Satan said, "Let there be math!"

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

I see 2007 and think “oh 3 years ago” and then it hits me that it was 6 years ago...

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Operator: "9-1-1 please hold..."
Me: "Ok. Hey, stop stabbing me for a second."
Murderer: "K."

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

I put the "i" in "single"

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Bitches or not, 99 problems is still a lot of problems.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Sippin on a six pack of cold ones

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but I can swim without floaties.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Tell a therapist, not Facebook.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

My brain has way too many tabs open.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

I can't believe that I wanted to grow up, what was I thinking.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

My bunny died. Now he's just some bunny that I used to know.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

McDonald's should have a 3rd window where you can trade in all the wrong crap they gave you at the 2nd window.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn't. Stupid enough to do it anyway.

[Ron Burgundy @RealRonB]

Did anyone ever notice that in Harry Potter, the soul-eating dementors never go for Ron?