Skinny

Neat.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

I'm going by Stretch now.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

I like to picture a lazy musician/engineer inventing the piano.

"Why can't I just press a button and it play a note?"

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

All life is is changing passwords.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

I don't think Matthew McConaughey really talks like that.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

The perfect excuse for arriving late to something is "my best self got here as early as I could"

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

Why does the world always realize things two weeks after me?

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

... and here comes the decreased sizes and increased prices

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

People really say 18 year olds are dumb and naive and then criticize them later for making the decision to go into debt for a worthless degree.

Maybe colleges scamming teenagers out of a $100K is the problem.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

What happened was all the workaholics moved to San Francisco

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

Why is everyone yelling?

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

Question 1: "Did you have side effects from the vaccine?"

Question 2: "Were you stressed the week leading up to it?"

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

Back in my day, we used to hold Weed not "Bitcoin"

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

Saying "don't worry I'm vaccinated" before doing anything

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

... and here comes the decreased sizes and increased prices

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

Remove the fuzz, or add more,
it depends what you're going for

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

One day, we're either gonna be shitty humans or the shittiest humans.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

This has been going on since the discovery of credit.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

It's National Mr. Feeny Day. The day where you appreciate your favorite celebrities while they're still alive.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

We, the People of Ears, do declare Rock N Roll to be the new thing!

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

Once the world opens, pharmacy workers are gonna get laid like firemen in 2002.

[Skinny @RealSkinnyTalls]

If you're hiring for a job and you look up someone's Facebook or Twitter profile,

Fuck you. You're ruining the Internet.