Mr. SpacePocket

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

My favorite part of HotPot restaurants is when I act like I have any clue how long I need to put this Bok Choy into my spicy water to make it tender.

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. #Pocket2JudgementDay #PocketIIWrathOfPocket #PocketTheDestroyer #ThePocketStrikesBack #KalebAlonzoAndThePocketOfDoom #DawnOfThePocketOfTheApes

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

I’m bringing back the word doofus. Be warned. #ItsYou #ItsAlwaysBeenYou

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Zack gets super spicy about his Papa Roach #FirstResort

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

One Zod is too many Zods #QuoteStealer #EternalTruths

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

“I don’t like the smell of cocoa bean water” says the guy who likes the smell of dirt water. #ItsZod #ItsAlwaysZod

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Eight six seven five three oh nine

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Imagine how much funnier I would be if I had opposable thumbs. #Pocketriarchy #NoticeMeKaleb

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Zod doesn’t like coffee OR avocados. I can only imagine he has a criminal alter ego named Xander Gluten that’s trying to take over the world with GMO mind control. #PocketStories #StayTunedNextWeek

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Donuts are like apologies. There is no metaphor here - I say sorry with baked goods. #FlakersDozen #DonutDoItAgain #CakingUpForMyMistakes

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Zod is an integral part in the human interactions of [insert team name here]. He especially enjoys our [relateable anecdote] which he fully experienced in his larval stage.

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Henceforth, call me Xander. #XanderPocket

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Zod Questions: How did our ancestors from the 1980’s live without indoor plumbing? #Hyperbolic #HeDeservesIt

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

What’s a “filter”? I tried to ask General Zod but he had never heard of one either. #SoundsImportant

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

If you put raisins in things we aren’t friends. #Raisinist #CookieRuiner

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

Ew. Today DeBron Lames told me he is XXX. #WayMoreExcitingAsRomanNumerals #ActuallySuperLame #StillGoingToDaveAndBusters #KalebBetterWearMe

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

I’m running out of people to make fun of. #WhereHaveAllTheKalebsGone #MidshirtCrisis

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

For the homies. #HappySad #InspirationalQuote #YoullAlwaysBeJay

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

There is a special type of anxiety when you type a word out and your brain tries to convince you it doesn’t exist. #Shrimp #Gauge #AllContractions #AdHawk

[Mr. SpacePocket @RealSpacePocket]

It is a day of mourning. We lost a great beard over the weekend. But every cloud has a silver lining - and we’ve apparently hired a new child onto our team. Kid looks familiar. #DejaVu #ItsBronner #HeLooksStupid #ComePayYourRespects