Teanut

Peanut with a T

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

I just discovered the BEST band in the whole world. And it’s rightfully called GIFT, because it’s a gift to Teanut. I will be stage-diving. #larping #gift #flyonthescreen

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

At least I’m surrounded by good company, and thank god for the $2 bottle beers

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Hey @Barrio, good going for being closed tonight. I’m stuck here at el Palenque and the waitress hasn’t offered me anything. Fuck you. Teanut will make you rue the day

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Also don’t trust any man in a romance novel, I’ve met each and every one; only trust the hoes on wattpad! #wyoming #snoopymicrophone #djoontour

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Holy crap, that’s the last time I go to my family’s firework display, they blasted my ass all the way to Neptune… #katyperry #Teanutinspace #whatdidimiss

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

@teheelviratehe I’m invoking my squatter’s rights and I’m getting my legal team together

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

I think the lady whose house I’ve been crashing is starting to realize I’m in her walls… #housemarket #wheresmyrent #prettysureshetookapic

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

@djendlessways GET OUT

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

I’ve also been honing my closeup magic skills, eat my ass Criss Angel #abracadabra #muscleshirt #lockandkey

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Sorry guys, I stumbled across the backrooms and I’ve been exploring. Safe to say I’m screwed. #whereami #isthisthingon #loveisland

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Just found out that they use homeless people to make glue…. I’m about to up my crafting game #diamondart #mulch #kindanervous

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Being imaginary is so fun, picture me just going boing boing boing; life’s a cartoon fr #bouncingonit #imjoekeery #newalbumtease

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

My stupid southern brother Teaneck is really out here doing the most, like that’s not how you use a pogo stick #donotputthiswhereitdoesntbelong #motown #loreexpansion

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Just learned that Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends is not a real place… #outonthestreet #speechless #whiplash

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Holy shit, they weren’t kidding when they said to not eat a whole bottle of melatonin. I just woke up #sleepparalysis #trampolinepark #whatisinmymouth

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Imagination so strong, it manifested the hantavirus #sofiasfault #wasntme #rummikub

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Just discovered tumblr, bouta use it to cancel unproblematic people #clap #swedish #thirdlane

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

@faeprincessbby Thank you for recognizing I’m the reason for that #namedrop #soup #fruitgame

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Idc if you guys complain about my 100 tweets a day, I’m an ethereal being with time on their hands. Also my Northern Europe trip opened my eyes #boxoftissues #watchingyousleep #hashtag

[Teanut @RealTeanut]

Even when you think I’m not, I’m there. I’m your grandpa #punch #norway #notmypants