Racket Teering

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

I know a guy who only eats chicken fingers and fries and other plain bland food like that. I wonder how offended and angry he could make @GordonRamsay with his tastebuds. Imagine how disrespected he would feel. I can only picture the unstoppable force and immovable object

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

@TheFallGuyMovie is kinda just looney tunes back in action but with Ryan gosling and not Brendan Fraser. Also, I guess there’s no looney tunes in The Fall guy🤷‍♂️

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

We projecting BTE (Big Toddler Energy)

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

I’d make an excellent newsie the way I be lying and marking shit up just to get peoples attention

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Hiding my opinions from the public got me feeling like Austin powers

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Sittin backwards in my office chair feelin like the good cop in an interrogation

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Shaking up my pop before I drink it just to feel alive again

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Big W for the world today. The McRib is back!

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

@gavin1581 Live tweeting your own downfall during finals season is so crazy

[Cryptozoic @Cryptozoic]

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🚀https://t.co/qiULHrxn0Q

#AdventureTime #FionnaandCake

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Crazy to me that @Sethrogen played a warthog in 3 separate movies and nobody is talking about it. What kind of type casting is this?

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Easily one of the days I’ve had this week…

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

I’ve never needed a root beer more in my life than I do now

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

For the second year in a row I present costumes for @stevezaragoza & @MikeFalzone

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Can we normalize trading out pickup lines for thought provoking ideas that make no sense?

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Ratatouille 2: Remy starts a grease fire

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

When uncle Ben showed up to fight the Grinch in No Way Home I lost it

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Why don’t race car drivers have to use their signal lights ever?

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

The worst part about early mornings is that it takes me all day to wake up. By the time I should be ready for bed I’m wide awake

[Racket Teering @RealTylerMartin]

Thinkin bout something I read on the internet the other day. “You don’t wash your hands, your hands wash each other and you stand there watching like a creep”