The Uniform Czar

THE final word on sports attire. Ageless. Wise. Mortal enemy of Oregon. Heard exclusively on SportsRadio 1310 The Ticket.

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

I'd rather have a root canal than see Oregon run around in these "uniforms." Advantage: Ohio St. Always loved the buckeyes on the helmet.

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

New Mavericks uniforms look like the 80's Nuggets. Why copy one of the worst NBA looks ever?

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

FYI--I'm resting comfortably this morning at Johns Hopkins, following last night's heart attack, which was triggered by the OU uniforms.

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

Thank you Oklahoma & Alabama for this classic uniform matchup. If you have great tradition, there is no need to trick things up. Czar out.

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

The Jaguars helmets are, by a significant margin, the worst helmets in NFL history. The Czar has spoken, and it is so. #bitches

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

A Louisville win is a loss for all uniform lovers. The Zubaz shorts are a disgrace to Dr. Dunkenstein! #cuethunder #goshockers

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

Adidas has angered the Czar! (cue thunder sound effects) I'm going to stop them, my health be damned. These too:

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

I am in heaven with tonight's uniform matchup! A true, classic, clean, crisp display by both teams! Feeling so good I'm leaving the E.R.!

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

Jesus, is that you? Mary? I see a light. A bright light. (Va Tech Thanksgiving helmets):

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

Texas A&M-Bama uniform matchup is so wonderful that it has me up and walking around my hospital room. There is hope! #antioregon

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

Maryland's shoes. Nurse! Nurse! (sound of heart monitor flatlining)

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

The Czar is very, very happy with the World Series, and I approve of this column: http://t.co/kfNavPjy

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

I would like to pass along my best to the family of Big Tex. Silver lining: we have a chance with a new Big Tex to update his uniform. #rip

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

Boise State: making strides. Getting away from their terrible helmets. This is progress!

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

Thanks to the Universities of Oklahoma and Texas for fighting the good uniform fight. Two clean, crisp looks on display yesterday #nofuneral

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

For the 37th straight year, this uniform takes the top spot in The Czar's annual "Best Uniform" rankings:

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

The 80th anniversary Steelers throwbacks are, officially, the worst NFL uniform of all-time. The Czar has spoken.

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

I like camo on a military uniform, but not on a football uniform. The Czar rules "six thumbs down" on this SC look: http://t.co/ZO2CfH5l

[The Uniform Czar @RealUniformCzar]

I've a soft spot for these new/old Nuggets uniforms, but the yellow is too bright and I could do without the pickaxes