Spider-Man

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man! He/Him.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Hey everyone! The name is Spider-Man. The other Spidey told me I should get a Twitter account, so here I am. Feel free to report any crimes you see in NYC to this account.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Bit of friendly neighborhood advice for Spidey cosplayers out there: Put a zipper in the suit. Fighting Electro after holding it in for a couple hours is the WORST.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Just fought Venom. These bitches gay! Good for them! Good for them.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Pizza time!

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Oh boy yeah.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

I don't take donations, but I wouldn't turn down the odd slice of pizza if you happen to have some around after I save you. Just saying.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

People keep telling me they were hoping for the other Spider-Man immediately after I rescue them from burning buildings. I like the guy too but there's a time and a place guys.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Fighting Sandman always leaves a bunch of sand in the suit. A piece of advice, by the way: Always make sure there's no sand on you before you try to lay in bed with your girlfriend.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Y'know, gotta say, typing can be a real pain with semi-sticky fingers. Not sticking isn't as easy as it looks.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Gobby might make my life a living hell, but at least I still have the dignity of knowing I never carried a man purse.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

I love Led Zeppelin!

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Still mad that being a reserve Avenger doesn't come with discounts. I hope Tony and Cap are enjoying their complimentary shawarma while I have to pick which flavor of ramen I want for dinner tonight.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

I'll have Jonah know that the only thing menacing about me is the stench of this suit. I don't exactly have an easy way to bring this suit to a laundromat.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

That guy from the Uncharted movie looks kinda familiar.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Why does Mysterio look kinda like Spongebob visiting Sandy? I should make that joke next time we fight.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Thinking about doing another holiday album. How about Halloween this time?

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

I still think the Fantastic Five would have been better.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Just a reminder that my weakness is small knives, for any car thief hopefuls out there.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

PSA: Doc Ock's tentacles are NOT for hentai jokes. We keep our quips clean and family friendly around these parts.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Say, I'm watching The Social Network, and I'm getting some familiar vibes from that one dude.

[Spider-Man @Real_Spidey_NYC]

Is it just me or does that one person from Seasbiscuit seem familiar?