RealityShitShow

tweeting my way through all of my favorite trashy reality shows

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@sarqrl No. Same. I registered earlier and now it’s saying I need to register again and when I try it says network error 👀

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

His wife was going through a lot. Raising their kids alone, paying for everything alone, running a dental practice, dealing with his crazy ass in her house when he was calling the cops filing fraudulent abuse claims. He killed her with their children in the house SHUT UP

[Sophia A. Nelson @IAmSophiaNelson]

I will have more to say about the late former Lt. Governor of Virginia @LGJustinFairfax he was a close friend. Both @LVBurke and I spoke to him if not daily. Often. He was deeply depressed. He was going through a bad divorce. Still sharing home with his wife. And those who knew him we were talking to him. We never saw this coming. Ever. We are all devastated.

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@GeraldineHocki3 @Lexiknjk @Oluchiisxn The same way two brown eyed people can have a blue eyed baby but two blue eyed parents can’t have a brown eyed baby. Type O is recessive and when passed town by both parents creates a baby with type O blood. Both parents having Type O can’t pass down an A or a B gene

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@killallmenfr @babystreetrat “Spiritually obese”

[ari @badgal_ari]

Cuz the fact that Tony replied 😂😂😂

[Kay @KaylarWill]

The worst thing that can ever happen to me is watching a movie and not knowing it’s a musical. & all of a sudden chairs start sliding and tap shoes come out? Kill me.

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@joeycamel_jr @Califoreignxo @Brieyonce Don’t host a gathering if you can’t afford it. What the fuck is wrong with you?

[goma @soigomaa]

Men. They used it to control women.

[Rev. Dr. Boudyka @bdk1521]

To everyone who has ever asked, or even thought, “Why didn’t she go to the police? Why didn’t she report?”

Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you.

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@bIondeaus @FirstLadyNaguda @DontBotherKeiti Yes, as were you. Maybe get off your fucking high horse stop policing other people’s language when you don’t even know how words get their meaning. Point still stands that dumb is an insult that stems from ableism. I am ableist. Have a nice day pendeja 💋

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@bIondeaus @FirstLadyNaguda @DontBotherKeiti Well yes, those people are dumb bitches and retards. Much like yourself

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@bIondeaus @FirstLadyNaguda @DontBotherKeiti Please look into the origin of that word. It means someone who cannot or is unwilling to speak and THEN was turned into an insult for someone who is not smart. So it’s still ableist to call someone dumb. Stop perpetuating the use of disability labels as insults

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@bIondeaus @FirstLadyNaguda @DontBotherKeiti It’s the same thing as calling someone a retard and then being like “but I didn’t mean it like that”. You’re an asshole

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@bIondeaus @FirstLadyNaguda @DontBotherKeiti You are the one who is literally using a disability as an insult babes. You don’t get to say someone else is invalidating disabilities and then doing the exact same thing. Calling someone you deem unintelligent “dumb” stems from dumb being the name for not being able to speak

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@bIondeaus @FirstLadyNaguda @DontBotherKeiti Why are you using dumb as an insult when that’s literally ableist?

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

@clarissa__moll @nikiGardens4red @MrPopOfficial White people can be Mexican. It doesn’t change the fact that they’re still white

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

Aaliyah sold 20 million records by the time she was 21 years old but she wasn’t a commercial success? Mush for brains

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

Real life stupid. Aaliyah was THEE girl at the time of her death. Just because you weren’t alive and her family wouldn’t allow her music on streaming for the last two decades doesn’t mean she wasn’t a commercial success

[🤍 @gladiatorbey]

I have a controversial one😭 don’t get me wrong she was iconic and did make an impact but people overstate her commercial success

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

You bitched are dumb and can’t do math. Pick a struggle

[anem @HipsterG]

6 generations of 15 year old moms

[RealityShitShow @RealityShitSho1]

All this to tell us that you’re gay AND a lizard person?

[Moongazer @joeybeastmarket]

Women are incapable of watching a movie in the presence of a man without experiencing sudden onset faceblindness and a total cessation of hippocampus function. You can be an hour in and she will go “ohmygod he’s cute who is he” and it’s the main character.

I remember in college I was seeing this girl and invited her to my house to watch a movie. Really such a great method for putting together a great lineup of rainy day movies. A half hour of absentminded watching with your arm around bae to determine if it’s a good movie before copulation.

It was very important for me to already have pre-selected three movies before her arrival. Otherwise we would end up scrolling through every movie ever made before settling for one of the first ten we saw at the top of the page. It was in this pre-selection process that a film caught my eye: The Prestige.

I’d heard of the movie. I knew it was a good movie. Id never seen it. Never heard anything else. Choice 1. My eyes glazed over as I made note of the other 2 potential suitors but my heart was already set.

She arrives soon thereafter. She’s looking particularly sensual tonight. She is wearing Lancôme La Vie Est Belle— she always wore it when we met in this setting. I liked it but only as much as a retarded college kid liked anything adjacent to getting laid. A waft of this scent today seriously harms me.

I greet her at the door. I kiss her on the cheek. This is so she knows I have no romantic feelings for her. We exchange pleasantries. This is so she knows I am not a lizard person.

I hand her the remote while I head to the kitchen to get us a couple of glasses of wine. Malbec. Women become quite sexual when they drink Malbec.

I return to the couch and cozy up next to her. She’s indecisive on what to watch. I make a suggestion. The Prestige. She approves. The movie begins.

Fifteen minutes pass. I am completely encapsulated. There is only me and this film. I’ve yet to touch my wine. I quickly realize what’s at stake and lean forward, have a sip, and then return to the cushion, putting my arm around her back.

I re-engage with the movie. I’ve never seen anything like this. I’ve not once checked my phone. This is all I care about now.

We’re nearly an hour in. I’ve not spoken a word to her. She has not spoken a word to me. We’re both completely captivated by this masterpiece. Or so I thought.

I remember vividly what happens next. The silence is broken. My entire worldview is shattered.

“Who is he again?” I audibly gasp when she says it. She is referring to Hugh Jackman, one of the protagonists of the film. He’s taken up no less than 30% of the screen time so far.

“The… main character?” I inquire, unable to hide my sarcasm.

“Oh is that who he is?”

“I don’t understand how you don’t know that yet.”

These words upset her greatly. We begin to argue. She says I was mean. I tell her sorry but she confused me. We go back and forth. Bickering. I start to apologize.

Suddenly there is a crescendo on the screen. I break eye contact and turn to the tv. Something insane has happened. I instinctively pause the movie so as not to miss anything else.

She does not like this. She’s standing up and getting her coat. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I’m incapable of defending my actions at this point. I’m reduced to saying sorry and please don’t go. These words have no impact on her. She tells me to never booty call her again before slamming my door and driving away.

I sit in silence, completely dumbfounded. I turn to the TV.

I immediately restart the movie. It’s unreal. I text her “I’m sorry” at 2am. She never replies. I go to sleep sexless. The next day an anonymous Yik Yak post describes our encounter. I am painted in an unfairly negative light. I do not care. I watch The Prestige until it’s time for class.

I receive a text message. “You’re an asshole.”

At least I’m not retarded? Learn to pay attention. It’s called watching a movie.

I learn nearly nothing from the experience.