Wednesday

I was born on a Friday and I have probably heard that joke before.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

@SherylCrow didn’t have to go so hard on the bongos in Everyday is a Winding Road, but she did that. For all of us.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

The highlight of my Mother’s Day was all my older cousins finding out that I was the one who found grandpa dead when I was 6 and getting a lot more compassion from them for how weird my brain is now.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

@KahsBaby Sober me today loves it too ♥️

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

Finally reached the age where all my friends are in therapy and have valid and healthy responses to me suggesting a bad decision.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

I’m distancing myself from using rollercoaster as a descriptor for my life because it’s all about breaking that cycle. No more going round on the same track.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

Bridging the age gap in my marriage by asking my husband if he gets it when I make a SpongeBob reference and he doesn’t laugh.

[Derrick Lemos 🏳️‍🌈✊🏽 @DerrickLemos]

Excuse me? Hi. Sorry to bother you, but we’re a year into this presidency and I was told repeatedly that there would be NO malarkey, and all I’ve gotten, quite frankly, is a bunch of malarkey. So I’m going to need you to get your manager.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

Boba Fett teaching drivers ed was not something I ever thought I’d see. Yet here we are.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

“I thought she was like Andre 3000! Megan Three Stallions! It makes sense!”

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

How the hell did I just find out that my husband has thought @theestallion was called “Megan 3 Stallions” this entire time.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

@taylorswift13 really went out here and made me remember parts of my very inappropriate relationship and I’m insanely grateful that she’s calling this shit out.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

I never thought there would be so many options for wedding aprons, and now my sloppy self is overwhelmed.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

“Sparrows hate the color red on Frankenstein.” - Sleep talking Andy

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

What a morning. Both my ex boyfriend’s friend and another ex boyfriend’s dad watched me shove a croissant into my face while scream singing in my car and made knowing eye contact with me. Starting off strong.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

Another birthday has passed without me receiving my dream present, a label maker.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

To people who text someone that you got their wedding invite but then don’t do the very simple online RSVP, especially when we all know you’re coming. Why? Do you understand the stress you accidentally create?

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

Just remembered how I dated a guy who told me he hated that my feet were bigger than his when I broke up with him and then got mad that I wasn’t upset with the size of my feet. What a chapter of my life.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

Scream singing good 4 you in my fiancé’s face while working on wedding planning was probably not how @Olivia_Rodrigo intended the song to be taken in, but here we are.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

Andy got me a baby yoda chia pet finally and all my dreams are coming true.

[Wednesday @ReallyWednesday]

The fact that anyone has the nerve to say they don’t know what to get me for a present when I have let everyone in my life know for the past 23 years that I want a label maker is just ridiculous.