Realogy

♎LOTA

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@Zingah_LOTJ @Saudi_rsa Bro, why is this joint not on Spotify?😡

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@Benedic28871317 Brake then...

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@Zingah_LOTJ Bhudaring with a spice of bling in this b*yaaash🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@Mmatapa_anita 😂🤣😂it's giving 90's vibes

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@OFafuli @ChrisExcel102 @Zweli_Thixo ♥♥Thanks my chomie

[Realogy @Realogy5]

This is the person behind the pretty girl's face. Ladies and gents @ChrisExcel102 👏👏👌🔥 @Zweli_Thixo Bro check him out

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

My uncle from KwaNdebele in Mpumalanga who sleep-talks and spoke out Lotto numbers during his sleep that his ex-wife went and bet on and won R660k in 2018 and left him after that.

It is a very interesting story, but you are going to say that I am lying, so I will post/tweet it anyway.

My uncle always had ways for money, and he was always lucky when it came to money, more like people who get RAF. Those people are lucky, but they alway blow it away. It all started when he broke up with his ex wife and the wife said she was tired of my uncle sleep talking at night and him being broke, but the rumor had it that she won Lotto and she got the numbers from my uncle while he was sleep talking.

2019, my uncle invited me to come stay with him and her daughter. Well I already knew about the sleep talking but some night 2am, I decided to go to the bathroom and while I was passing by my uncle's door I hear my uncle talking "Uzothola R3000 eMall, emnyango wase Mr Price". I decided to peep in, and I noticed that he was sleeping, I closed the door. It was obviously one of his sleep-talking episodes.

It happened that I will go to the mall the following day for some grocery shopping, it happened that I also wanted socks at Mr Price and a miracle happen I picked some cash at the door it was a roll of R3000 of two hundred notes, " Hhay marn!! uncle did mention it in his sleep that I will find money. emnyango wase Mr. Price! "

I go home I find my uncle watching the Soweto Derby, he doesn't really want to get disturbed when he is Watching football, but I still went on trying to tell him the whole story about the R3000 but I was talking alone as he was stressed about betway and Chiefs.

I decided to cook, took a shower, and set an alarm for 2am. I wanted to confirm somethings, who knows? Maybe ngizothola more zaka. 2am the alarm wakes me up. I opened my door, and there was an uncle walking and talking alone in the passage, "ehh, Malume is sleep walking and talking today??"

I decided to fall him as I wanted to hear what he was talking about, I heard him saying, "Namhlanje siyolanda i3 Million emathuneni uyezwa Alfios" and Alfios is my uncle's name. I was confused now but decided to follow him to the cemetery. When we got there, it was already 3:45am. My feet were hurting. I heard him saying, "We have arrived. Alfios and our sacrifice follow us, wena uzohlezi unenhlanhla yeMali Alfios hahaha". I now freak out as I saw my uncle walking towards me, but he was not himself, "Malume!! Malume!! vuka!!" I throw rocks at him.

As he was about to grab me!! "Haibo mshana sifunani la? What time is it?" I look at my watch it is 04:02am. "Yoh mshana ngiyaqolisa... you see 2014 I took imali yaka mashonisa and 2015 he died and since then everyday around 2am to 4am I turn to be him and he controls my body, if you get money from him then you shouldn't get it for the second time ngoba he will want to sacrifice you. That is why I broke up with my wife. I didn't want her to die. "

That morning, I packed my bags and moved to Sandton, where I found Thembi, the ANC member I dated, but that's the story for another day. I was telling you this because my uncle texted me yesterday around 2 a.m., "Usayifune le 3 million yakho? Or nginike omunye?"

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

I know men go through a lot, but even in your lowest moments don’t forget to give women money. Those are your moments and have nothing to do with giving women money.

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

People don't really talk about male golddiggers. It's weird because there’s alot of them. 🤔

[Realogy @Realogy5]

This is to appreciate you bro and I cannot wait to link up with you.💯🔥 @MjajiLungisani This is the moment for youngis to re-write history. @Zweli_Thixo we up broski

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@Sjivvo @Zweli_Thixo @Solphendukaa @podcastwithmacg @MacGUnleashed 😔uhm.. Sjivvo ayisingawe this thing marn. Suba bitter

[Realogy @Realogy5]

Few years back I did this art piece for Solomzi🔥, I am not even sure if he has seen it or not. Please help me reach out to him #idolyfepanaroma #حادث_مدينتي #Podcastandchill

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

Meet Siyolise from Port Alfred, Eastern Cape, South Africa! I swear there's something in the water in the Eastern Cape! A voice like a warm knife through butter.

If any of you know her, please let her know I'm a big fan! ❤️🫂

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

A man telling you that he's still getting his life together and will resume a relationship with you after some time is a reasonable demand. "Please don't get pregnant, I will come back for you some day". Jola mara nge timing. Fair request isn't it? Men are reasonable human beings.

[Realogy @Realogy5]

It's UP for real🚀💯. It is official.. S/O to 🧀Gang for the love they've shown to this art work. Cant thank y'all enough @podcastwithmacg @MphoPopps @Robotboii4 and @TsitsiChiumya ♥🔥Wa dijaja Heyi-hayi @Zweli_Thixo

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

Staying alone is weird, you get back from work, eat, then stay quiet.

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@JustThandoo Did he leave the ingredients there, because whatever it is that he's cooking is for the books.🔥

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

Women this thing of wanting to appeal to the male gaze will cripple you. Men don't know what they like, outside of their homies.

You'd think they rejoice at the sight of baddies, but no, umuntu starts dating a baddie and suddenly wants to turn her into a good woman.

[GOD GULUVA @Zweli_Thixo]

Never underestimate how smart and calculative men are. Ngisho kwa leso slima sama wings, chances are he could play you out of your head if he wanted to.

Men go through upgrades every 7 working days, amaqhinga is their spillion. Men people even trick each other.

No one Is safe

[Realogy @Realogy5]

@bokoromonio Okay guys enough with these jokes now sekwAnele.🤣It's not funny anymore