Emily Reber

sorry I’m late I was flexing in the mirror

[Nem @Nemzsi]

thank you black mold. thats a wonderful idea black mold

[Emily Reber @ReberEmily]

@shortelizabeth1 I think we’ve found my new stage name

[Austin @adoptedhighway]

showing a photo of a healthy guy to my doctor like i’d show the barber a picture of a haircut

[Emily Reber @ReberEmily]

@shortelizabeth1 might be a good year to buy some hurricane insurance!!🤣

[Emily Reber @ReberEmily]

last summer was my anklet era. I fear this summer Toe Ring Emily will take form

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

shall i compare thee to a nissan summer sales event

[Cameron Bradford @camerobradford]

Sitting at a drafting desk at a Build-a-Bear Workshop for 12 hours and continuously shaking my head and throwing new designs in the trash. At closing time, I finally pack up my attaché case and tell the cashier I’ll be back in the morning.

[Emily Reber @ReberEmily]

I just want to pull a coupon out of one of these bad boys one last time

[philip matarese @philorphilip]

The names bond. Names Bond.

[abby @outoflemonjuice]

there is always one guy on the plane who is flying it

[Texas Football @TexasFootball]

Final 🤘

[Nieltown @nieltown]

Excuse me, are these apples and bananas? I ordered eeples and baneenees

[Texas Football @TexasFootball]

FINAL #HookEm 🤘

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

"i got that dawg in me"
the dog in question:

[sara lebow 🫡 @SlebowSays]

madison is such a beautiful name for a square garden

[Jack Corbett @jackcorrbit]

i also forgive everybody for taking out loans. People change ❤️

[Emily Reber @ReberEmily]

This is exactly how @CourtneyLeaCox handled me in college

[dr. badvibes @nikitamissle]

keep thinking about this guy on the bus behind me yesterday with an infant who started crying & he just went 'now isnt the time for that. ' and the baby immediately stopped