US: “It was a preemptive attack on Iran”
Pentagon: “No sign that Iran was going to attack first”
US: “No but if Israel attacked Iran, then Iran would have attacked us, so we preemptively attacked them first” 🤡
This is beyond satire.
A guy who dodged a war (with a fake injury) just started a war (from his country club) that he promised he'd never start (that his family will never have to fight) while wearing a golf hat.
This guy is a greasy orange stain on our country.
SNL's Colin Jost on Iran: "This attack might be a bad idea, I don't know. I'm not really an expert on Iran. So let's hear from someone who can explain why we might have done it."
Q: “Are you aware of Donald Trump ever engaging in sexual activity with an individual introduced to him by you or Jeffrey Epstein?”
Maxwell: “I invoke my Fifth Amendment right to silence”
A reminder that Trump has refused to rule out a pardon for Maxwell
2024: We'll reveal Epstein's associates if Trump wins.
2025: Epstein only trafficked to himself.
2026: Yes, we illegally redacted almost every name in the files. Yes, we have videos of the abusers. But how could we possibly know who raped those girls?!
Oh my god???
Marjorie Taylor Greene: “I will praise Nancy Pelosi. She had an incredible career. I served under her speakership in my first term of Congress. And I'm very impressed at her ability to get things done. I wish we could get things done for our party.”
Fox Trumps Trump: Just as Trump was stubbornly insisting prices were "down significantly," Fox News popped his reality bubble showing coffee, utilities, electricity, and repairs all up significantly.
Make sure everyone sees this.
RFK Jr: We need to stop trusting the experts... Trusting the experts is not a feature of science or democracy, it's a feature of religion and totalitarianism.
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"Crime was *such* a pressing issue in DC that Donald Trump found it necessary to first figure out how to put up a flagpole on the White House grounds, lay the plans for a $200 million ballroom, host a bunch of crypto dinners, release a cell phone plan and a crypto coin. All of those things were more pressing than the crime that was apparently so out of control in DC that we needed federal troops to be stationed there."
🚨 South Park didn’t just go scorched earth, they napalmed the narrative.
This week’s episode has Dora the Explorer getting ICE-raided at her own show, then trafficked straight to Mar-a-Lago to give old men massages. That’s right. A kids’ cartoon character ends up massaging a geezer in Trump’s palace of denial.
Kristi Noem shoots a puppy in the opening scene. ICE raids Heaven. Trump, Vance, and Satan rub elbows on Fantasy Island. And when Mr. Mackey sees what’s happening, even he nopes out of the job.
🚨 BREAKING: Trump is now calling for an investigation into Nancy Pelosi for insider trading, because her returns are “too high.”
Meanwhile…
He’s personally lobbying to kill the PELOSI Act; the very bill that would ban all congressional stock trading, including his own.