Glass Funyon

Aspiring writer who plans to fake it until I fake it some more on Twitter. Bad jokes, worse puns. Mostly unibrow takes. Austin Briskets. BLM

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@theCHIVE I like to play that icebreaker game “two truths and a lie” with my wife. Except I don’t tell her we’re playing. And also there are three lies. And there are no truths. And also I’m a terrible husband.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@deb_schiel That sums it up yep.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@magicsincemac @ThatWeekInSNL Her TikToks have nothing to do with her parents and they were hilarious. Other than Please Don’t Destroy I’m not sure they have anyone else using music in their comedy - it’s a nice differentiator that probably helps her value.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

NYT Mini behind a paywall means it’s gone woke! Let’s post about it until they have to reverse their decision! This is socialism! This is woke! Blue jeans! Male cheerleaders! Logos!!!

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@elaiherzfeld We need to do whatever the Cracker Barrel people did to get the old logo back. Shake our fists? Can we claim locking the mini is woke?

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

#shrinking

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

🎼 Diff-rent he-re
👏 -👏 👏 👏 👏
Diff-rent he-re
👏 -👏 👏 👏 👏
🎶

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@KarlsonMcKenzie &Heather. This caught me like it caught so many others. My mornings won’t be the same. I love you guys. I’m sad with you and my god I don’t even know why I care about strangers so much. Thanks for everything, Kevin.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@vulture VFD. What do I win?

[Matt Shearer @MattWBZ]

Rescuing a long-lost treasure with two New England legends. HIGH PRESSURE! @wbznewsradio

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

Kowloon castaway movie was found. https://t.co/7mFx9Z2oqI

[Michael Pina @MichaelVPina]

Have a column about the trade going up shortly, but one of my favorite Marcus Smart stats is that in all 9 of his NBA seasons, he's never had a negative net rating. The Celtics always outscored their opponents with him on the court. Every year. Remarkable stuff.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

Joe Mazzulla has to be a doomsday prepper and is keeping timeouts in his basement in case the grid goes down.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@SNHUOnCampus @snhuprez I can?

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

What

https://t.co/UNjPg4HzU3

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@mrsrozierlll Oh hi.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

Hot take!

[Comedy Bang Bang @ComedyBangBang]

Maybe it’s just me, but for me, if you’re talking top awards show carpet colors, you just have to mention red. #Oscars

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@smarttommypoint Every time I see this I wonder why Anthony Davis won KPOTG

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

One’s going east, the other’s going west. And this guy’s saying, “whadda ya want from me?”

[The Cultural Tutor @culturaltutor]

Thread of dogs in art:

Pug in an Armchair by Alfred de Dreux (1857)

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

@bradsketbawl Meth. And probably reservations.

[Glass Funyon @RedHoodedRants]

Oh it’s #InternationalWomensDay ? Sorry, but I like my women how I like my beer: domestic. #AmericaFirst