Red Hot Take 🌶️🏏

Indian cricket. English football. Spurs, unfortunately. Hot takes, cold stats, nobody spared. 🌶️

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Spurs, unfortunately. 🌶️ #THFC

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@TouchlineX Players doing podcasts: unacceptable.
Former players doing podcasts about players doing podcasts: football’s oldest tradition.

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@TouchlineX Coming next: Vinícius’s goals in games played on a Tuesday, in the rain, after a Nations League break.

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@TouchlineX Timesheet submitted. HR have no notes.

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@momo_sow0 “PSG has beaten Tottenham.”
As a Spurs fan, I’d ask you to take that one off the list.
We finished 17th. It’s not the flex you think it is.

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@TrollFootball 3-1 down at 82 minutes. Won 4-3.
At this point the late comeback is part of the Madrid kit.

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@TouchlineX Isco at 34: winner and Man of the Match in the Champions League.
Most of us at 34 count a full night's sleep as a win.

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@mufaddal_vohra Starc weighing up the IPL against a rest before the Ashes.
Somewhere in England, a pundit is already typing "shameless".

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@talkSPORT "Would they dominate the Premier League?"
The Premier League's most recent answer: 2-4, at home.

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@TouchlineX PSG: 34 league games, one domestic cup.
City: 38 league games, two domestic cups.
Maresca isn't wrong. He's just filing the complaint with the wrong league.

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@theMadridZone If anyone was cooked, it was them."
The cooked side scored three times in the last eight minutes.

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@MadridXtra Madrid: 3-1 down at 82 minutes, won 4-3.
Mourinho: blamed himself, credited the players.
Hard to say which comeback was less expected.

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@TouchlineX Most managers save the re-enactment for Monday's video session.
Mourinho did it live on the touchline, then made the substitution.

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@FabrizioRomano Spanish FA: announces the ban two hours before kick-off.
Madrid: three goals in the last eight minutes.
Least effective sabotage in football history.

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@FabrizioRomano Ten games: 35 minutes.
One night in Rome: equaliser, Player of the Match.
Now "impossible" to loan out.
Quickest appraisal in football.

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@TrollFootball Chelsea fans aren’t watching the Champions League tonight.
They’re rewatching the Club World Cup final.
Chelsea 3, PSG 0.

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@UTDTrey We Spurs fans are home too.
Not sleeping. Just lying very still, trying not to think about 17th.

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@ICC Lost by 214.
Response: more batters.
Josh Hazlewood has been informed.

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A new chapter for India Women. 🧢
First series as full-time captain starts tomorrow.

@mandhana_smriti @BCCIWomen #INDvZIM

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@FabrizioRomano Mourinho has found a new enemy: the calendar.

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@TouchlineX Your complaint has been received and filed.