Reginald da Monkey

Here to offer advice to littles across the world. I pick games against Jaws every week on the Tony Kornheiser show for Bananas & Porn. Bud Grant is my BFF.

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

@TAFKARR @LeBatardShow I am available for garage sales, bar-mitzvahs and sex toy bachelorette parties

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

Is the song called "boobies"? https://t.co/61gKrZyT4u

[TIME @TIME]

John Mayer explains why his new song is about missing ex Katy Perry https://t.co/DWMpmz5Ca7

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

This is a perfectly acceptable answer. This was Courtney's 1st movie co-staring Billy Dee Williams and @NeilNRockville https://t.co/zkaSaPDtxi

[David Aldridge @davidaldridgedc]

Dude on Wheel of Fortune had to solve this:

A STREETCAR NA_ED DESIRE

He asked for a K.

I’m gonna go lie down.

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

I asked Shirley MacLaine out at least 2 dozen times. She refused every time so I slept with McLean Stevenson instead

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

I have been taking a shot every time someone says "journey" or "amazing". After 90mins I'm totally fucked up

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

@mbradford04 I'll save you time. It's Olivia Munn in the classic Office Christmas Party

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

Text from Mr. Tony "Four awards in 90mins. Way to go #Ocars2017. I'm out. Goodnight"

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

@MikeTodd614 Bud doesn't watch movies. He finds them a big waste of time. Like reading @TheFix

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

I once had threesome with Katherine Johnson and Neil Armstrong.

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

At a wild Oscar party with Olivia de Havilland & Doris Day. Harry Dean Stanton brought so much meth, Sandy Duncan is actually flying around

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

@NeilNRockville Milo?

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

Text from Milo Yiannopoulos "Reg, I am so misunderstood. I'm like Marc Sterne, just not as gay"

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

Text from @realDonaldTrump "Reg, did you see Arnold has an app? If I had an app it would be huger' than his"

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

Patriots 30
Falcons 21

Give the points and take the under. Straight Cash Homey

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

@JPerschino I've been married 7 times. The last time was to Linda Lavin and it lasted only 6 days

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

I get no respect. I need to stop being nice to fucking idiots https://t.co/D1SlTR3qxl

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

Text from @chuckschumer "NEIL GORSUCH SUCKS"

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

Text from @wolfblitzer "Reg, you wanna meet me at Round Robin tonight? I feel like picking myself up a Nasty Woman. You in?"

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

@charlieaquilino I was banned after a spat with Nigel over a bagel. He said I took the last poppy seed & I told him to FuckOff #FreeReginald

[Reginald da Monkey @ReginalDaMonkey]

This would be perfect for Mr Tony. An Orangutan with Mr OrangeTan. I gave up acting after my failed pilot with Lee Meriwether & Roxie Roker https://t.co/gXUfflQC5b

[Steve Repsher @SteveRep44]

It's the stardom opportunity @ReginalDaMonkey has been waiting for! (Monkey pulling off orangutan? Oscar!) https://t.co/cRT4bT1RYn