Religiously-hilarious

I’ve got more ass than class.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

@MrBeast #fingerontheapp2
Do we need to be in a battle when it starts? Or do we wait until it the timer hits 0, then battle?

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

Imagine Blackjack with Jack Black.
@jackblack Open invitation to our place for Black Jack when this is over.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

Tit-tosterone: The best oxymoron

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

My math teacher asked me about my sleep schedule.

Oh, it’s imaginary.

Irrational at best.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

We always hear, “share your gifts with others”.

Some of you have the gift of ass.

Please, PLEASE, share your gift.

Thank you.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

Me: *finishes ranting about life*
Therapist: Your life sucks. Have a cookie.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

Trying out @theTunnelBear so I can browse privately from my ISP. https://t.co/aRpuka6Uzh

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

If Costco made a phone it would be the size of a car.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

@tobyfox Could I get written permission to use pieces of the song “Hopes and Dreams” for a YouTube introduction please?

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

My brother had pancakes with strawberry syrup and he decided to make this comment:
“Hey, I think my pancakes are undercooked. They are a bit pink in the middle.”
I wanted to cry.

[Sincerely Jocelyn @Wednesday_Steph]

My brother: Guys, I’m a comedian. My shows are on Tuesdays and Thursdays

Dad: I’ll be there in Mondays and Wednesdays.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

The French got a lot of things wrong, but they got two things right: the kiss and the croissant.

[Religiously-hilarious @ReligiouslyH]

Profile and banner pics cred to Mark Bond Photography. We all know I can’t take pics like those.