I was pulled over for speeding today.
When you get pulled over for speeding, you usually know how fast you were going, and when the cop asks you if you know how fast you were going, it's a wrap.
But today was different. Today, I decided to try the trump defense.
First, blame others. "It wasn't my fault officer. That car behind me was going too fast, it was tailgating me, you should go after them!"
Then whataboutism: "But officer, what about all of those other cars speeding? Why aren't you going after them?"
Then, cry foul: "You know, I don't think I was actually speeding. I think you just needed to fill a quota!"
That shit didn't work.
I got the ticket anyway.
Because in the real world, there are consequences for our actions.
how fucked up is this: some Texas dipshit was firing his AR-15 into the air and his neighbors asked him to please stop and so he shot them all dead on the spot. four adults. one child. what the fuck. this is why the rest of the world thinks we've lost our fucking minds
I’ll have more to say soon but want to get this off my chest.
To the people of Cleveland and all of Ohio. I fucking LOVE you…and always will. Thank you for everything.
More to come. #0️⃣
i typed out and erased how i’m feeling 20 times but i’ll never be able to put it in words so i won’t even try. just know i’m still smiling ear to ear and wiping tears. sold out stadium show in my hometown (on MGK Day) to end a legendary tour. it’s a fairy tale.