ReneeDeeDee

Today is the first day of those you told yourself yesterday you wouldn't throw away on Twitter. That's as inspirational as I get. Promise.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

If I'm asking you which of your children you love the most, it's because you have a pinned tweet.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

I'd agree with that if you weren't wrong.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Now "they" even tell you how to handle your breathing.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Is anybody really ever away from Twitter?

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

My New Year's resolution is to be more forward thinking.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Life is a struggle to stay afloat.

Let that sink in.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

In this neighborhood we show our ass kicking shoes. Stay out or be out.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Just before I die, I'm gonna change my FB status to "Sure there's some screaming going on but I honestly thougt it would be hotter".

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Back off or I'm gonna hurt you right in the feelings.

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

twitter is basicaly a algorithm that produces humanity's best thoughts

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

When you were positive you used a semicolon correctly but someone puts you in place.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Defrost means "to voluntarily wait salivating for longer than necessary" in microwave.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

"Italian food" means "saturated fats served on a kingsize bed of stupid carbs" in italian. In english it means "stuff my face full of that".

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Deinfe "obsolete".

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

The best part of sneezing with headphones on is getting to listen to music at a godzillion decibels for a split second.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

*shrugs*

Sure, I'd sell it too.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

So there I was being told they'd prefer if I leave thinking how did I become a preferred customer in the first place the way I was going on.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

BAD COP: And then you pulled the trigger? Brains all over the sidewalk, HUH?! ANSWER GODDAMMIT!
GOOD COP: Uhm... Name the Great Lakes.

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Is there a way of not losing all respect for people who question why you know who directed the movie they're talking about?

[ReneeDeeDee @ReneeDD85]

Twitter is the only place where it's OK to act like a rock star. I'm not a rock star btw.