Reptar

Giving out laughter in 140 characters or less.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

At approximately 6:17 am, Taco Bell began its assault. War waits for no man and claims lives regardless of race, gender, or age. It’s a one-sided battle you can never win. Yet, I’m going right back there again tomorrow to attempt to win a fight I know I’ll lose. This is hell.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

@PHfeeneyRF Please put your pants back on

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

@PHfeeneyRF I still can’t get over Pringle’s Zero

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Apparently Siri and Untappd can predict me now so I can shitpost faster than ever...

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

@PHfeeneyRF Yeah, something seems off. Most of my friends would tell me to build a PC. Granted I know you voted for the Xbone...

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Big Mike is trying to get me to buy a PS4. Seeing as how you all conspired against me on the last poll, this is your shot at redemption.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

@tdsunnerberg I already have a Switch, so I’m set there. Just need to find a towel to wipe the dust off.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

@fuckinggeneric Only if mine can be Peter Son Peterson

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

@AdrianHamouda @JimmieB45 @Browns @PHfeeneyRF In my humble opinion, losing the Super Bowl seems worse than losing each game.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

PSA: Drink a glass of water and you’re hydrated for an hour. Drown in a pool and you’re hydrated for life.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Laugh it up, but if it ends as a tie I’m just gonna make an Instagram account and only post the shitty sandwiches I make for lunch to it.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Should I get a Strava?

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

@PHfeeneyRF Bring the chrome

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?
Driver: The speed limit
Me, getting dropped off by Uber cop: Bro you were like 20 mph over!

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Can cops be Uber drivers while on patrol? Cause it would be cool to be getting a ride and then suddenly they have to pull someone over.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

You are a good man with a good heart and it’s hard for a good man to be a king, Charlie Brown.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Yeah it’s stupid to cut pizza like this.

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

Who the hell slices a pizza like this?

[Reptar @ReptarRF]

A bird tried to steal my headband on my run today. While I was wearing it...