Maggie Elder

I set the record for THE 50 butterfly relay when I was 9.

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

@3rdbradleycoop secrets one republic

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

@Under1kContest https://t.co/LpyPRElZSP

[Noel B Doherty @noelbdoherty]

this is what i mean when i say i got that dog in me

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

@Under1kContest https://t.co/Hs3kzJylpJ

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

ihop on her wafflehouse till she denny’s

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

feeling: tandem bike

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

can we get a turn signal for cars that signals that i actually wanna hang out and be friends

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

i love fireworks, it’s like hey r u guys here to see the explosions too

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

i hate when i get stuck in between the window screen and glass like a little bug

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

feeling: spherical

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

they should have a number for if you accidentally ingest poison

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

call me a pickle cause i’m trapped in a jar rn (this is a cry for help)

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

call me cher cause i’m dead

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

in a bartering mood rn

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

got kicked out of the funeral because apparently emotional bubble wrap “isn’t a thing” and i’m “ruining another family gathering”

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

other than spilling 3 bowls of soup over myself the date went pretty well

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

flirting with the troll under the bridge cause i’m bad at riddles type night

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

don’t you hate when you try to plug your phone into aux but it’s actually a shoe lace and it turns out your lost in that one shoe store AGAIN

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

feeling: bashful

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

would you rather have barbecue sauce as saliva or every week you have to play rock paper scissors with mike tyson and every time you lose he gets to bitch slap you in the face

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

would you rather have unlimited trained snakes or one pet tiger that’s ur best friend and you can ride but it dies after 12 years

[Maggie Elder @RespectUr3lders]

ihop on her wafflehouse till she denny’s