Restaurant Humor

Funny shit happens in restaurants. Those who have worked in restaurants will laugh. Others might not. Advertising: [email protected]

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Kids that cry in restaurants should get NOTHING for Christmas. #controlyokids

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Common sense REALLY isn't all that common anymore. Ask any waiter or waitress.

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

“@simrangujral: When I'm at a bar, I live by the words of my doctor... "Drink plenty of fluids" #restauranthumor

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Allow your server to introduce themselves before barking out your drink order #havesomeclass

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

“@MensHumor: I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings!”

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Canadians don't tip. #factoflife

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

If your table asks how much a water refill costs, your tip will be the same amount as the price of the water refill. #cheapass

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Customer: "May I have 2 house waters please?" Server: "Two tap waters double shot on the rocks coming up."

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

I just got double-sat and you're asking entirely too many questions. Would you be offended if I told you to shut up?

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

My restaurant stops seating at 10pm. Tables that walk in at 9:55 your steak will probably be sauteed in butt sweat.
You think I'm joking.

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

If the servers are wearing all black, a bowtie, or a vest, you probably shouldn't wear jeans. #restauranthumor

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Asians tip well... #realtalk

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Fuck.. More Canadiens.

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Reservation for 20 and 14 people show up. Extra spit in their pasta. #restauranthumor

[Restaurant Humor @RestaurantHumor]

Customer: "I would a sweet tea AND a diet coke?" Server: "Okay do you mind if they come with a shot of saliva?" #restauranthumor