Retired Hillary

PARODY: 30 years of public service, 1,000's of pant suits, 30,000 emails, and one presidential nomination later- thoughts from retirement! #MakeVodkaGreatAgain

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

"Oh, he was talking about WOMEN?! I thought he was talking about cats....that explains a lot"- Bill, just now...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Sunday funday here in Chappaqua...Vodka tonics all around #ImWithVodka

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Typical Friday morning in the Clinton household- Bill singing Rebecca Black's "Friday", me cooking up an omelet the size of Montana

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Have any of these people in the audience ever watched the news at any point in the last few months? #ThankYouTour

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Why is this man shouting? He sounds so shrill, He's too angry, should smile more #ThankYouTour

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Yes, nothing says I care about the veterans like appointing the most incompetent woman in the galaxy to head the VA...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Silly man, kids these days won't know what the industrial revolution is after Secretary DeVos is done with them...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Watching T***p's thank you rally, have also inserted IV of Vodka...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Breaking news: May run for Mayor of Chappaqua, assembling campaign team of nice ladies from downtown, having Huma run the numbers...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Received a voicemail from Gov. Romney- no words really, just sobbing...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Petraeus on the phone, wants to know if he can list me as a reference for the job application for Secretary of State... #Awkward

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Just heard T***p is considering Sarah Palin for Secretary of Veteran's Affairs....THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL ON THIS ENTIRE CONTINENT

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Another night of Tim Kaine standing outside my window holding up a boom box playing "Fight Song"...the man just can't move on...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

No Bill, you cannot go walking around the trails of Chappaqua dressed as Bigfoot, no matter how funny you think it would be...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

.@realDonaldTrump here you go, cupcake

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Just got Bill's Christmas list...have to let him know that there is no possible way for me to get "one of those cool Air Force drones"...

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

FYI- Parts of this country are actually on fire right now...may want to check on that #ProTip https://t.co/3TymrNZHbU

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

.@CNN is so embarrassed by their total (100%) support of Hillary Clinton, and yet her loss in a landslide, that they don't know what to do.

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

.@AdamParkhomenko Bless these women.

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Btw- I literally had an entire life's body of work destroyed by an oompa loompa w/ a bad comb-over and I still am less petty than you... https://t.co/3TymrNZHbU

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

.@CNN is so embarrassed by their total (100%) support of Hillary Clinton, and yet her loss in a landslide, that they don't know what to do.

[Retired Hillary @Retired_Hillary]

Plus, let's be honest Donald, CNN cared more about missing airliners than it did either of our campaigns... https://t.co/3TymrNZHbU

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

.@CNN is so embarrassed by their total (100%) support of Hillary Clinton, and yet her loss in a landslide, that they don't know what to do.