Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo

Assembly of GOD Pastor... Prov 17:22 A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

10 out 10 Born Again Dermatologists have determined that Heaven is by far the best Age-Defying Beauty Product.

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Things That Make Ya Go Hmmmmm:

Does Darwin have to watch the entire Planet of The Apes series over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, again in Hell?

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

When The Disciple Thomas First Got To Heaven:

Whaaaaaaaaaaat? I made it? SHUT UP! REALLY!? You guys aren't messing with me are you? Are you sure? Really? I'm in? Are you willing to put that in writing?

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

@amna49854 Ghost

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Important Questions To Ask People Who've Been To Heaven And Come back:

Did you wear a sticker that said, "Visitor"?

How come no one ever spots a T Rex or Velociraptor?

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

I'm still waiting for someone to yell, "GOD IS GOOD!", in church, and for someone else to yell back, "DAH!!!! Tell me something I don’t know Captain obvious!”

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Angel Reality Shows In Heaven:

"Shhhh, this is going to be great! I wrote on a clear garbage bag, "This Is A Toy", rang Satan's door bell and put it on satans stoop. Will he be tempted to put it over his head?...Let's watch what Happens next."

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Christian Insults:

"Your bible is so dusty, that archeologists discovered it, in a dig, six feet under a Tyrannosaurs Rex fossil.

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Noah's Ark Day 309
Captains Log Supplimental:
"The Ark has rested on Mt Ararat and the flood waters have almost dried up... Oh!! To all those pagans who said, I was nuts, bonkers, a couple of splinters short of a beam. Who's king of the mountain now!?!?"

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

This is my latest message titled “Job's Patience and Faith in Trial"
https://t.co/8Od5ZIiauO

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

If McDonalds Advertised In Heaven:

"Hey, McSaints. Stop by and try our new McSirloin third pounder McBurgers. Made from pure 100% holy cow."

Actual Testimony: Phil Rizzuto, “Holy Cow that’s delicious!”

Location: We’re located by the 3rd cloud next to the east gate!!!

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Creationist: "Boneless chickens were created by an intelligent Butcher, who took the bones out of the chicken."

Evolutionist: "Boneless Chickens Evolved after millions of years, they eventually learned how to flop out of the ocean and make their way to the grocery store."

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Is it me or am I the only one who wonders if the boneless chickens were frantically late when it came time to enter Noah's Ark?

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

Elmer Fudd Leads Worship:

"Wha a fwiend we have in Jesus, all our sins and gwiefs to bear. Wha a pwivilege to cawwy evewyting to God in pwayer.
Have we twials and temptwations?
Is there twouble anywhere?
We should never be discouwaged
Take it to the Lord in pwayer.”

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

@MorganHousley1

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

I like to live dangerously, that's why I always keep the Word of God deep in my heart. Sorry, devil. Sorry, spiritual hosts of wickedness. Sorry, rulers of darkness of this age, that's how I roll.

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

The Lord knew Adam & Eve had “One Life To Live”, and after they sinned the Lord knew not even “General Hospital” could help. So being “Bold & Beautiful”, and being truly mans only “Guiding Light”. He died for what He called “All My Children”.

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

If David were with the spies in Numbers 13, when they said, "We saw giants in the land!" He would of been like, "Ooooook, Soooooo, everyone gets a sling shot! Oh, and I get dibs on the tall one in the middle!"

[Rev Martin Anthony Arasmo @RevMartinArasmo]

@trisaleon Canolli