Rex Pendleton

Veteran Reporter | Aspiring Alcoholic

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Me and the guys hit the town hard last night, sent Red Lobster into bankruptcy! #EndlessShrimp #KamalaHarrisCheddarBayBiscuit

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

THE LEFT WANTS US TO THINK WE SHOULD PAY EXTRA FOR GUAC AT CHIPOTLE, WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH @ChipotleTweets THE LEFT IS HARBORING CRIMINALS. SEND BRITNEY GRINER BACK FOR FREE GUAC #cincodemayo #kamalaharrisbloominonion

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

My roommate told me to stay quiet cause he has a Zoom interview with an employer right now… the Mariachi band is inbound #StayUnemployed #LifeOfADayTrader #MambaMentality

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

@MiamiBeachNews Me and the fellas still coming! #LeaveTheWivesAtHome #TheKidsToo

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

SHE DID NOT SAY THIS #helenkapper

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Will not let @HaroldJumangi spew his communist agenda and SLANDER my name!!!!! Wake up people! #redscare

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Currently sitting in a dark cold room eating cream cheese with my hands and favoriting Chrissy Teigen tweets. BREAK FREE FROM THE MATRIX #youcantcageme

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

While the other kindergarteners eat Lunchables at school, I send my kid with a gallon of milk and a can of Spam #dirtybulk #athletedad

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

When will the carnage cease? #JustAKidFromAkron #KamalaHarrisBloominOnion

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

My hometown Outback just closed, thanks Biden! There’s a bloomin onion sized hole in my heart that can only be filled by liberal tears #TuckerCarlson #KamalaHarrisBloominOnion

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

@dangle_kur11699 The Organic Palm Kernel Oil should do the trick, Kurt!

[Jhkd @Jhkd15]

How many likes can this get, 2000 for me to follew hillary clinten

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Blacked out last night and woke up in a laser tag arena

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Had a nightmare last night where I put the needs of others ahead of my own

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Boys night idea: let’s just kick back kill a couple beers and have a pillow fight

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Today’s Schedule:
12 PM Wake Up
12 - 12:30 Gym
1 - 8 Wallow In My Own Self Pity
8-12 Drink

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

The ‘96 Bulls intro song starts playing every time I walk into a Bob Evans

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Being a soundcloud rapper in 2016 was like being a painter during the renaissance

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Just tried hunting and gathering for the first time. Safe to say I was born in the wrong generation

[Rex Pendleton @RexPendletonCBS]

Really getting used to this comfort zone. I think I’m gonna stay in it forever