Riani Jordan

HERE 👇

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

There’s a spider on your cakes. xD!

MORE IN B!O 👈

#candids #candid #creepshot

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

MORE IN B!O 📸

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

There’s a spider on your cakes. xD!

MORE IN B!O 👈

#candids #candid #creepshot

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

Hmm. What delicious cakes.

FULL VID IN B!O 👈

#candids #creepshot #candid

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

FULL VID IN B!O 📸

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

Hmm. What delicious cakes.

FULL VID IN B!O 👈

#candids #creepshot #candid

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

Fuck you, Mike's. It's not "Lemonade for Grownups," it's Beer for Babies. http://t.co/lQhTCGC89H

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

Beauty is only skin deep but that's ok because my eyes can't see any farther than that. http://t.co/h2yNTsj2a2

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

It's terrible waking up with regret. Perhaps if she changed her name I'd feel better. http://t.co/LXkhufObd2

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

I never drop names but I frequently drop babies. http://t.co/RgkPcFWsyx

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

http://t.co/Ct2opjwBUM Leaving someone a voice mail is the new Myspace message.

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

On the tombstones of Buddhists, it's always 'RIP'. I always thought it was 'BRB' http://t.co/dSNWSzYIs8

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing. http://t.co/GxPPIWQydG

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

"I liked small butts. I was lying." - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession http://t.co/KanmucZjeQ

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

http://t.co/ytiRFpNQtt Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models.

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

http://t.co/otAKLgbC2S No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/qV1BrVF1rV

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

http://t.co/e93IY4YFBE Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

Someday I will disappoint a burglar with my one drawer of Taco Bell mild sauce packets. http://t.co/tEo52dH

[Riani Jordan @Riani15]

http://t.co/fetfMrR The quietest sound ever recorded is the sound of a Canadian saying "excuse me" in a crowd