Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts

The OFFICIAL account of your beloved Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts. 0x NBA Champions, but we’re trying really hard!! Sponsored by Milk. 36-28 Record 🏆

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

The boys flood the court with CUM BACK SHOTS to fuel their opponents suicidal tendencies. Sources say Arroyo called the other team words too gruesome for social media, resulting in criticism by the league for doing this during a charity game for melanoma @jamescharles thoughts??

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

ARROYO HAS EYES IN THE FRONT OF HIS HEAD 🤯🤯🤯 He finds Igma in the corner who calls 1-800-Game… and Oprah picks up??? WTF @Oprah

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

DEFENSE —> OFFENSE
Allsack says CUM HERE and Igma pukes the ball up to Arroyo who stuffs it down their throat with authority! #Basktbal @Drake

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

Larry Igma’s contract has been restructured to a 2-way deal. The move comes after an abhorrent display of basketball last night, resulting in an altercation between the Enthusiasts. Arroyo attempted to assassinate Igma, instead taking the life of a 7 year old girl with no legs.

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

Fun Facts:
more fingers (6) than teeth (4)
more toes (13) than fingers (6)
only knows sign langauge

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

The owner of the Enthusiasts is the hot-headed Owen Herr. Herr has been homeless on and off for the last 8 years, getting repeatedly fired from his local Chili’s. Mark Cuban was set to be team’s owner, but due to a typo in the contract the rights to the team belong to Owen Herr.

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

Fun facts:
Alopecia survivor
Never been to Arkansas
Terrible at Jenga

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

next is Cassius Arroyo:
born in Antarctica where he was ousted by his village and fled at age 8. Built a raft and attempted to cross the ocean when he was swept away by a hurricane. Washed ashore the Cayman Islands where he quickly made a name for himself playing the clarinet.

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

Fun facts
born with full head of hair and set of teeth
lactose tolerant
has never not bowled a 300

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

next up is Larry Igma:
Born into a jewish mute Amish family in the middle of Harlem, has never spoken a word in his life. Dyslexia and Tourette’s doesn’t stop him from getting buckets, but the legal blindness may.

[Cayman Island Rice Enthusiasts @RiceEnthusiasts]

meet the players! first up is Bernie Allsack:

Absolute freak of a human. Came out the womb at 16lbs 9oz with a full beard and a receding hairline.

Fun facts
Born with 3 nipples
6 different baby mommas