Rich

Mr. Bagelsworth

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

The wife keeps telling me "STOP BEING A DUMMY!"it's like telling someone to hold in a fart when they're in range for a proper cropdusting.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Some dude gave me the fartsmell look one day. Then tells me:
"I wanna beat up your ASS"
Sorry dude.............I don't think it will fit.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

I saw a boat on the freeway today that was named:
"Dixie Normous"

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Anyone remember rapper lil jon?
And his taglines?
"WHAT" and "YEAH"?
If he was in mexico..Would he change it and say" QUÉ"....and..."SÍ ?

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

When I get F-ed up my eye closes like popeye.
Then I start liking tall, skinny, odd looking girls named after cooking oil.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

@Janr8rfan the great ball draining of 2015

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

I was gonna make a motorcycle club

....But my 'OL LADY wouldn't let me.

...Bikers will get that joke.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Today my lady asked me "Don't you guys have to relax your Asshole to pee?"...Huh?.....Where does she get these questions from?

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

If you can't grow a chin..........

Grow a beard and create the illusion of one.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

I cleaned my nipples this morning....

They came out Pretty Tits.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Did the whole live fast die young thing. Only I didnt die young.Now I'm stuck with a beer belly,gray hairs & look like a burned out hippie.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

@RedScareBot Is this what you're referring to? Hehe

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Urine Possible.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Quit being a socialist.
How?
You're..
Russian me................[crickets*]

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Can you feel me rolling my eyes?

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Breaks exist so you can clear your mind.

-I thought they were to stop my truck.-
..go figure.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

Think about this one........ The food you ate yesterday is getting pushed out by the shit you ate today.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

@r2_dt when a "Bro" tells me "Nice brah" I always say:

Thanks........Its new.

[Rich @RichTearingaway]

@r2_dt Sometimes You just have to
Learn to let it flow

In one ear
And out the other.