It really feels like the Dodgers have become the Big Ern McCracken of Major League Baseball… and I’m excited to be in LA to enjoy it. #Dodgers#WorldSeries
The drive thru at @tacobell used AI tonight and it was a considerably worse experience than if they had a non-English speaking human. And the robot still had the nerve to ask me to donate money for schools…
Every time I hear comics complaining about comics doing crowd work, I think they’re being lame until I watch a clip of the comic they were complaining about doing crowd work… and it’s always so bad it makes ME not want to do crowd work. LESSON: always listen to the shit-talkers.
I’m for whatever version of America can promise me at least 3 Nic Cage B-Movies a year, plus 1 surprisingly entertaining Nic Cage “film” at least every other year.
If Putin really wants to show how powerful he is, he should draft Russia's newest citizens, Assad and the male members of his family, into the Russian military... so they can show their appreciation and loyalty.
I want everyone to know, that no matter what happens with this election, I still think of most of you as brazenly foolish as individuals and strinkingly dangerous a collective groups of fools.
Wild lineups tonight!
Bobby Lee @bobbyleelive
Andrew Santino @cheetosantino
Annie Lederman @annielederman
Steph Tolev @stephtolev
Rick Ingraham @rickingraham
Fahim Anwar @fahimanwar
Justin Martindale @justinmartindale
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
Erik Griffin @erikgriffin
And many more
Get tickets NOW: https://t.co/ED2kVDKBDG
#ComedyStore #ComedyTonight #FridayComedy #ComedyClub #LaughterlsTheBest #NightLife #ComedyLovers"
The TV commercial for Los Angeles Chargers football tickets includes extended shots of Travis Kelce and other “away” team star players because they know using the Chargers to sell the Chargers, never sell tickets to watch the Chargers.
@MikeBinderjokes Who is this tweet for? What faction of people do you think are listening to you? Or is this just another form of online pandering to the idea that you’re not bias like the hot headed people on “both sides”.
Fig Newtons were one of the grossest parts of the 1900s. If you ever meet somebody who says they love them, the only correct response is “you are gross”. And I don’t care if they still exist in 2024… to me they are thankfully extinct.