Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson

Village idiot | balls and shaft | Benching iron and lowering expectations | enjoys foreplay | 2017 Runner Up for the Real Pisser Award

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

my fiance is doing this to me later I hope

[Moans “McRib” My-Johnson @MoansWhenIWipe]

It sucks that the first five seconds of peeing hurts like hell. Sucks that we all have to go through that.

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

Took me 6 hours and I passed out 8 times but here’s your creamy ranch sauce

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

Did anyone even care that I was gone

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

@therealestEATER They water them down, so whatever someone tells you, double it

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

Pulling my wife’s hair out of my ass like the sword in the stone

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

Uncrustable for breakfast

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

@EZMoneyCrudder You don’t like lying down with your ass in the air?

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

Vegetables are your friend

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

I knew tonight was gonna be a good one to monitor the situation

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

“Baby on board” just makes me want to hit your car even more

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

Who want me in like a 4 lifelong friends who compete to embarrass each other kind of way

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

In Belize, straight up tanning it, and by it well.. haha, let’s just say, my butthole

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

@mostsillygoose This feels like a direct callout mug

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

@iraqismoker2 Euler’s theorem gives me a boner of order dividing φ(n) — provided we’re coprime

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

@leastsillygoose I’m so proud to see you’ve made progress during my hiatus

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

@terbbub I’m 5’10 and a dude but I’d relish the opportunity if you’ll have me

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

It’s #FuckUpWednesday please post your weekly fuck ups since last Wednesday

My fuckup is that I brought a production website down for 3 minutes on accident

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

@MoansWhenIWipe Like the tweet

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

Hate when my balls do that thing

[Ricky “Step on my Balls in Stilletos” Johnson @Ricky_Balls_]

I cooked again last night