Riley Metcalf

frequent skipper of leg day

[Riley Metcalf @RileyMetcalf3]

Four ha-ha’s in the fellas GC got me feeling like prime George Carlin

[Antidepressant Content @depressionlesss]

He’s being taken to the vet like some poor medieval prisoner 😭😂

[barley @barleywheatling]

#eating da table

[Riley Metcalf @RileyMetcalf3]

I think it’s actually important we let the athletes know that it’s unfair they have to pay taxes and we’re all really quite sympathetic that they have cut the $100million contract in half while the rest of us get to keep our full $100M.

[big john the boshfather @Johnfis08605918]

Le bosh

[Riley Metcalf @RileyMetcalf3]

Pochatino my dawg for life

[Otto Von Tweetmarck @OVTweetmarck]

Ya did it, Arry, me boy

[autist @litteralyme0]

Me on the plane watching the movie the guy in front of me is watching with no sound:

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

uh yeah, he sure is

[Riley Metcalf @RileyMetcalf3]

@aj_swoop No glass would’ve been the move.

[ivan c @yungic_]

looking at the craft beer menu knowing we’re about to order a bucket of coors

[ирис @saltwatermp3]

If we are ever playing chess together and you take my horse you are dead to me. I like him

[turbomander @turbomander]

do u think a really upset king was ever pouting on his throne when he heard the jingle jingle of his jester running towards him and cracked a lil smile cause he knew everything was gonna be alright

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Riley Metcalf @RileyMetcalf3]

I too made a mistake and placed wagers on the 2023 Indiana football team. Can I get some carries? Maybe run a couple routes ? @TexasTechFB @kirbyhocutt @JoeyMcGuireTTU

[IcyVert @IcyVert]

Do not disrespect that damn dog

[Pooh Bear Lucchese @TreyGee254]

Wemby:

[just business @OneWordPowerful]

Good art challenges its viewers.

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

The little rascals sneaking into an R rated movie

[Jake Christie @TheJakeChristie]

they’re leaving chop meat out at room temperature telling Jon they don’t know what to do, they’ve tried everything