Riley being riley

An account to keep track of all the dumb things @moonkillr does

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Quote of the day: “Why is L so far away from H in the alphabet, has anyone ever thought of that?”

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day: “I did the two worst things I possibly could I ate bullshit burger and yummy yummy pie.”

[s @skaterz090]

they hate on me for farting but the biggest stars are full of gas

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:

“Body water in the toilet” RIGHT before pissing himself

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:

Me: “I’ve noticed that male huntsmen like hanging out by your room”
Riley: “yeah they like hanging out with company”

Riley apparently:

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Taking a huntsman outside and it runs STRAIGHT past me to get to Riley

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Taking a huntsman outside and it runs STRAIGHT past me to get to Riley

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:

“What if I farted so loudly that it blew my legs clean off?”

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:
“A second fart has hit the chair”
WHAT DO YOU MEAN

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

So Riley and I are standing outside the hospital waiting for our uber, and old mate decides that it’s a good time for a fart. He does so, and it’s so loud that the doctor I had just seen turns around to see wtf discord fart sound noise happened behind him

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:
“I thought you were drawing Hitler on my toe” HUH??????

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

I sit down next to Riley and he goes “You know what’s worse? I took my melatonin instead of my Ritalin.”

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:

“Please don’t bring your whimsy into my pizza chef oven place.”

Can’t a girl make a tiny pizza in peace????

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:

“Sorry I’m just rolling”

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:

“Why does everyone say ‘alright’ instead of ‘all-left’?”

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

This just in, Riley believes that this is in fact, a knee!

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

I promise you that Riley is the first ever person to say that sentence

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley, directly after watching Barbie in a Christmas Carol:

“How do we go about setting up chuzzlewit with the shotgun chair?”

(Chuzzlewit for reference)

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley is a fucking caveman dude:

“I’m so hungry.
Breakfast.
I’m so tired.
Breakfast.”

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

Riley quote of the day:

“He’s waiting for me to come out”
“Why?”
“He’s waiting to abuse me with his teeth”

[Riley being riley @RileyisSmelly]

I give Riley two lolly snakes, I turn around and he’s shoved them up his nose 😐