Risa Dixie

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut; and still think they are sexy.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Two antennas met on a roof; fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much; but the reception was excellent.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

The last time someone listened to a Bush; a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

The farther away the future is; the better it looks.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Strangers have the best candy.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!

[Risa Dixie @Risafh7]

If you must choose between two evils; pick the one you've never tried before.