Stephen

[Habeas Corpus Linguistics @HabCorpLinguist]

Someone should invent a version of Outlook that can search for emails and find them.

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

please don’t come into my chocolate factory expecting some bullshit. this is a place of work. do not talk to my fat little employees

[Cats with aura @Catsworldtweet]

I’ve never seen an “omffffffffffffffg” in cat form before.

[Qsama bin Johnston @QsamaBJohnston]

“I’d actually like to plead guilty, Your Honor”

[Mike Bird @Birdyword]

Sometimes I think about the people who trekked across America on the understanding that God had promised them something amazing, thousands of miles through some pretty inhospitable and dangerous places, and then got to coastal California and got to be like wow yeah, knew it

[Jon Tweets Sports @jontweetssports]

USMNT seeing Belgium arrive at the beach in Cancun

[Caber’s Mohawk @CabersMohawk]

this dude needs surgery and they got him under the lamps they use to keep the General Tso’s chicken warm at Mandarin

[Nature 🦜and Music 🎶 @GuGi263]

How do I explain to the psychologist that I saw a lost kitten and its mother found it, scolded it, and after checking that it was okay, slapped it and took it home?

[renee 🏒 @brandonscarlo]

the pan over to the baby is sending me

[george @StokeyyG2]

😂😂😂😂😂

[LBark @franzsherbert]

This may seem harsh but any experienced teacher knows that randomly killing yourself in the middle of a lesson is sometimes the only way to get the student to learn

[John Halo @EpicMasterChief]

You know he was like god I wish your brother and Bill Murray were here too

[Allen B. @Alleninvests]

Everyone in sales under 6 ft right now.

[🐍 Ƥşץ𝕔𝔥𝕠pomp_Đ𝔦o̷͝ηуรǗ丂 ඏ @Read_Acted]

“My final lesson to you, young Padawan.”

[RAH-66 COMANCHE @rah_66_comanche]

yeah no shit if I were the Republican Party Chair of RHODE ISLAND I'd smoke crack too

[🏛 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 🏛 @nonregemesse]

One of my favourite little moments in the book is when Baelon (Rhaenyra’s grandfather) met Balerion:

"Prince Aemon was shy around the dragons at first, Benifer observed, but not so Baelon, who reportedly smote Balerion on the snout the first time he entered the Dragonpit. "He's either brave or mad, that one," old Sour Sam observed, and from that day forth the Spring Prince was also known as Baelon the Brave"