RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳

Sarcasm | Wit | Humour | Satire

Tweets are Personal .

*RTs are not endorsements *

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

agar is duniya me meri apni koi hai, to wo bas meri galati hai 🙂

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

They say India is in safe hands, yet we still witness terror attacks, blasts in Delhi, and exam paper leaks. And despite all this, we’re expected to stay silent, because questioning it makes you ‘anti-national.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

After the Epstein files in the US, the farmhouse files should also be released in India.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

When they win, it’s all ‘Constitution Zindabad!’
When they lose, which is basically the usual, they suddenly cry #VoteChori, #EVMHack, and whatever new excuse they can invent to hide their own failures.
After so many defeats, the only thing they refuse to update is themselves.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

@Dhimahi11 Being a man isn’t as easy either 😏 we might not spend hours deciding what to wear, but we spend days waiting for your one-word reply… and still don’t complain.
Because while you’re choosing the right lipstick shade, we’re just here hoping you choose us someday.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Mujhe "Jodo" ka dard hota h.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Tech = higher valuation = more funding = more profits after IPO. Easy. What could possibly go wrong?

[Day End Trader @dayendtrader]

Did I hear Peyush Bansal just say, "As a tech company..."
🤣🤣🤣🤣

Chasma bechta hai tu bhai.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

@trvisXX We didn’t really welcome you, we just needed content for our Insta stories. Blinding flashlights, endless selfies, because nothing says “belonging” like pretending to fit into the society we’re desperately curating online.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Me watching stories of all my married friends with their wives on Karwa Chauth:

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Fake Information is sent in the form of news !

After spreading it for several months, the same fake information is sent again by making a meme or a troll ,so that you keep watching it repeatedly and you will start believing that it is a fact !!

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

@theskindoctor13 India will always stand tall, not only because of its strong military power but also due to the unwavering support of its people, setting aside the leftists who continually try to weaken our nation’s sovereignty.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

@TimesAlgebraIND The problem isn’t the visa or money, the real issue is when parents say, “Jaha bhi ghoomna hai, apne desh mein hi ghoomo". 😏

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Don’t view a poor person with sympathy, if he’s involved in illegal activities, a crime is a crime, regardless of the person’s financial status. If poverty is used as an excuse, then every poor person committing unlawful acts would claim helplessness. That doesn’t make it right.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

@Tinder_India My Type ?
Someone who won’t judge as long as I don’t blink when I switch from Kishore Kumar to Eminem to Coke Studio in one breath.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Some goodbyes are deeply painful, especially when you have had so many plans in place.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Tears are the words that need to be written, listened to, and understood.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Approved a loan for terrorism, proudly claimed credit for a ceasefire, then got double-crossed by the very folks he empowered.
Just another flawless day for the world’s 'most powerful' man #Trump.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Many people believe that news channels are presenting facts, but in reality, they often push propaganda and sensational content just to boost their TRPs. I have absolutely no faith in them.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

BJP announced today that they will conduct a caste census—a move previously proposed by Congress, one of the worst decisions made by Modi govt.

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Caste census in India could deepen social divisions and reinforce caste identities, leading to increased fragmentation and caste-based politics.

#notocastecensus

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

The war between India and Pakistan is already raging full force on Twitter and Insta reels — who even needs military strategy when you’ve got meme brigades and armchair generals?

[RITESH MISHRA 🇮🇳 @Ritshuman]

Such a major incident couldn’t have been executed without local support, raising serious questions about the integrity of individuals towards a particular religion. The terrorists checked victims private parts to identify their religion before killing them.
#pahalgamattack