MrPickles

A guy who thinks most things are funny. In a world where most people don’t. Which is kinda funny.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

I want to pause on this Holy Day to give thanks to Jesus for not making us Chassidick Jews.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

All I’m saying is I don’t recommend having 1 favorite pair of underwear.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

Hey @ParamountPics and @MTV !
What’s it gonna take to get The State re-released???
The world needs Louie, da-Popa, and $240 worth of pudding more than ever!
#BackByPopularDemand

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

After extensive research, I am now able to definitely conclude that the phrase “partially retarded” is the single most satisfying phrase to say with a Boston accent.

#science
#boston

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

I started calling my dad “Motherfucker.”

Cuz....well....he is.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

Is there a support group for men who can only ejaculate while wearing a luchador mask?

Asking for a friend.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

If all you can say about a person is that they are nice, it’s a bit like ketchup: Sometimes it’s a nice addition, but it’s never enough on its own.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

Taco Tuesday isn’t a day of the week. It’s a way of life.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

The covid vaccine made my poo smell like shit.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

For fucks’ sake! Weirdo hippie Jesus has billions of followers. What’s a guy got to do to get one?

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

I started taking vitamins because I like having neon pee.
I didn’t know it would be the gateway drug to the black light piss fetish rave subculture I’ve stumbled into.
My family won’t talk to me and my laundry bills are untenable, but at least the b-12 helps my metabolism.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

After months of taking my temperature daily, someone told me it wasn’t a reliable sign of covid. Now I keep it up so I’ll know if I happen to start ovulating.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

Letting your ex cut your hair is a really great way to see if the breakup is as amicable as you want to think it is.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

I just spent the last three days sitting around the house naked waiting for Mormons to come by.

The didn’t show up and now I’m worried about my immortal soul.

[MrPickles @RivrMunky]

I like galoshes.
They are like no fucks for your feet.