Rizzo

Yeah, it's me, Rizzo, that rat from TV. Point me to the nearest restaurant, will ya?

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Check out this photo my cousin Alfonz took! Don't I look great?! If you or a rodent you know needs your picture taken, look up his new business: Alfonz' PortRAT Studio.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

I love when my family comes out to visit. We see all the sights, including my favorite: the "Dumpsters of the Rich and Famous" tour!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

My mother taught me to always say yes to anything extra. Extra guac, extra ranch, extra cheese... as long as it doesn't cost extra, it's a yes!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

I really think that melted cheese might be the answer to all of life's problems. I can't think of one time my day wasn't immediately improved after eatin' some! Remember: Always fondue, never fondon't.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Is there any food better than soup? It's warm, it's delicious, and it's one of the few foods you can make in a bathtub – my ideal serving size!!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

I know it can seem pretty appealing to use an extra large pizza as a blanket. Lemme tell ya – it ain't worth it! Sure, it's pipin' hot to start, but if your appetite's anything like mine that blanket won't be makin' it through the night.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Can you believe it's already September? Before we know it everything will be pumpkin flavored – just the way I like it!!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

The best things in life are free... Like free bread, free chips and salsa, free peanuts – what could be better?!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Sure, everybody loves brunch, but nobody ever wants to hear my pitch for the ultimate meal: "Brunchner"! It combines all three meals at once, and you have it at least three times a day – I'm already doin' it, and you can too!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

I'm so glad it's summer time! Finally it's hot enough outside that I can leave a bucket of cheese outside when I leave in the morning and have a bucket of fondue ready by the time I get home!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Y'know that couch that's sitting in your garage, slowly falling apart? Don't just toss it on the street – donate it to your favorite rodent! Remember: one man's trash is another rat's treasure!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

They say ya can't go home again... For a rat like me, that's especially true – the dumpster I grew up in rolled into a river a few years back. I left some great old pizza boxes down there!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

In my book, one of the best food pairings is fruit and cheese. The only pairing that beats it? Cheese and cheese.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

If I had to pick my favorite kind of food, it'd have to be finger food. When you eat as much and as fast as I do, silverware just gets in the way.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Never talk to a rat before they've eaten. We rats don't just get hangry, we get houtraged, hurious, and hindignant!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

How many rats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, it depends... is the lightbulb in the fridge? If so, it'll be screwed in as soon as we finish eatin'.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

I just got home from brunch, my favorite meal of the day... at least until it's finally linner time. And don't even get me started on dupper!

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Here's a little life hack for ya: You don't have to even watch the Big Game this weekend to enjoy Big Game snacks! It's true! You can chip and dip to your heart's content without seeing a single touchdown.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

I like fancy food as much as the next rat, but I'll never make it for myself. My rule is: If a meal takes you longer to make than it does to eat, it ain't worth it.

[Rizzo @Rizzo]

Sometimes if I'm feelin' too lazy to make dinner, I'll just eat the ingredients on their own. It works fine for somethin' like a sub sandwich, but it's not fun eating crunchy noodles instead of makin' spaghetti!