As we approach #Midnight I reflect on everything that has happened up to this point - all that I've seen and done and accomplished. They've been stepping stones towards my greater goal of becoming an officially recognized professional gamer - something I've wanted since before joining the military.
Watching these tournaments playing out and all these MMO raids being conducted and guides being created - it's made me wish I could reach such a level that I'm at the forefront of bleeding-edge content, and people knowing my information, insight, and experiences helped make a difference in not only their own progression, but in that of their peers. But I'm not really as popular or as "big" as others may be led to believe. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still a nobody by comparison. My own takes on things really don't matter when there are people with far greater influence and a wider community of people to interact with.
I know who I am and what I'm capable of doing, but until I feel I've arrived at a point where my skills are recognized and respected by many bigger named content creators and organizations, my opinion will remain unchanged. This is not me being negative; in fact, I'm just being real.
These eleven years of streaming have been a journey - one I'm still embarking on - and there are days where I feel annoyed by my lack of progress or exposure despite how hard I work. Which is why I am incredibly eager to tackling Midnight with a more determined mindset: I need to do more; I need to stream longer; I need to climb higher; I need to push harder than anyone and everyone else if I'm to get even a piece of that sweet glory that I feel I deserve. Of course there are other games that I will be tackling as well, but as a #wow_partner, I feel my best shot lies in the coming seasons.
And the worst part is that no one will probably have read this in its entirety, and all this time gathering my thoughts was just pointless. But I know it isn't. If I didn't care enough to share it, I would've just kept all this bottled in. I refuse to break because the moment I decide to give up is when all the haters and bandwagoners win - and I will never give my opps that satisfaction.