DetectiveRoastSquad

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

The way my nephew stares at me. I hit him back with the Charlie face. @RMcElhenney @alwayssunny

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

@SecretGroupHTX @TonyHinchcliffe @BrianRedBan Shit, if anyone has an extra ticket they want to sell hmu

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

@Chili’s I feel like I’m in a bathroom with a menu #nothanks #gatbagejuice #gottheruns #dryrubmyass

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

@ABC #built @Ford tough

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#askanything

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

@kanyewest #itwasyourchoice #400years #makeamericagreatagain #lostyodamnmind #bigferthanapple #yeezy #mrwest @kfc

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#WhoBitBeyonce #whocares #biteheragain #hungry #chocolate #flaka #throwsomeseasoningonit #hungergames #JenniferLawrence #tastelikechicken #juicy

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

@Nike

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

When Nike drops Wesley Johnson but LifeAlert about to hit him with an endorsement deal. #HelpIveFallenAndICantGetUp #GrahmCrackerAnkles #CelebrityDeaths2018

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

No one cares. https://t.co/xsJUIoofBx

[Bleacher Report @BleacherReport]

How Trae Young can rediscover his superhuman self 📶 https://t.co/RUsTN3YhBj

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

Time’s a bitch fam. Ol geriatric ass Freddie. #ThisMustBeThe100th #FridayFeeling #GoodBoyFriday

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#WeirdDentistProblems when he ain’t using tools to drill ya in the mouth. #numb #Cavities

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

@Fergie #itriedmybest when I farted in the elevator with one other person and tried to convince them it wasn’t me #notme #downwind #noregrets #weallfuckedup #singingaintforeverybody #dontquityourdayjob @Wendys #peepants #trynottolaugh

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

Nigga when you gonna get a house? #TuesdayThoughts #Gentrification https://t.co/6CYZFIG1iZ

[Oscar the Grouch @OscarTheGrouch]

Worms. A grouch’s best friend. #LoveYourPetDay

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#fergienationalanthem when you trying to hold your pee in and sing the national Anthem. #Fergie #weakblatter #standandpee #ithurtswhenipee #darkpants #depends

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#fergienationalanthem That’s borderline treason. #PresidentsDay #Fergie

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#fergienationalanthem When you’re still high off 2008 autotune clout and forget you can’t sing. #Fergie

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#WhenTheWifiGoesDown Everyone goes back to beating their meat on Victoria Secret catalogues, the way god intended

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#WhenTheWifiGoesDown and you in the milddle of rubbing out a knuckle child🤬

[DetectiveRoastSquad @RoastDetective]

#WinterOlympics