There's 3 categories of guys I work with, all work long and late hours.
1. Deep in debt. Hurting for money.
2. Ain't got nothing to go home to. Empty house.
3. Avoiding what's in their house.
Tonight. 9pm EST
Let 'Em Burn - Chasing Excellence With Stripper
Every few internet cycles, the "lead with your wallet" option shows up again. I've got news for you..
@Bull_Rush4570
https://t.co/ZTIuDjIeSj
My wife and I finally got an offer accepted on a house and hired a home inspector.
I thought he'd just walk around and make sure the roof wasn't actively caving in.
Instead, a guy named Gary showed up with a tactical utility belt, an infrared camera, and the demeanor of a homicide detective.
Gary spent 6 hours meticulously documenting every structural sin committed in the last 50 years.
He handed me a 90-page PDF report that was color-coded by severity.
The whole document was basically just red.
He noted that the slope of the driveway deviates by two degrees, which could cause pooling during a catastrophic hundred-year flood.
I live in a landlocked state.
He pointed his thermal camera at a window and told me I was losing an unacceptable amount of ambient heat.
I told him the window was open.
He wrote that down as a critical mechanical failure.
He took me to the basement to look at the HVAC unit.
He shined his flashlight on a single speck of dust and asked if I was prepared for the respiratory consequences of poor filtration.
I asked him if the furnace actually worked.
He sighed deeply and said it functions, but it lacks the efficiency of a modern heat pump.
We moved to the electrical panel where Gary put on thick rubber gloves like he was about to defuse a bomb.
He told me the wiring was technically up to code but ethically questionable.
I don't know how electricity can lack morals, but Gary seemed very disappointed in the circuit breaker.
Finally, he found a tiny crack in the garage floor.
He used a digital caliper to measure it and informed me the foundation is undergoing micro-settlement.
Every house on earth is undergoing micro-settlement.
We're on a spinning rock in space, Gary.
I asked him for a bottom-line assessment on whether we should buy the property.
He looked me dead in the eye and said the house is technically habitable but still compromised.
I paid him $600 for this psychological warfare.
We're still going to buy the house.
I'm just going to live in constant fear that maybe Gary was right.
Dear Men,
A girl wearing tight clothes doesn't mean she wants your attention. It means the outfit looks good on her and she feels confident. Stop acting like every choice revolves around your dick.
One insane thing about being married with children is how comfortable other women are with disrespecting your husband in front of you and expecting you to clap like a seal. Itβs the woman version of ball and chain jokes.