Rob Smith

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Shoutout Quincy Enunwa

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Told my friend I had to piss after him. He came out of the bathroom and said “I opened a tab for us”. He pissed and didn’t flush the toilet. Gonna have to incorporate that into the vocabulary.

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Not having a heated steering wheel is going to be my 13th reason

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Every week I tell people that “I just met the love of my life” but guys I really mean it this time I promise

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Level 59 of candy crush is arguably more difficult than trying to speak to a woman at the bar

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Beer is my Bat-Signal

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

My New Year’s resolution is to begin collecting a variety of knickknacks and trinkets so that I can have some sort of purpose in my life.

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

As 2024 comes to a close, I would like to thank those who made this year memorable. Thank you to my ex girlfriend, Kamala Harris, and the jets franchise for making 2024 the most miserable year I have ever had the displeasure of being alive for.

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Nobody wants to drink anymore. We have lost the locker room.

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

It’s borderline impressive how often @LumpyItalian is able to disappoint people. Just when you think he can’t disappoint you anymore… he does

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

ULATOWSKI!!!

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

News flash: Never travel to a warm weather location after gaining 15lbs during the holiday season. It will only leave yourself and others disappointed in the way your body looks.

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

@LumpyItalian You can’t do this to me. The train is my heaven. The train is my life. Don’t tread on me #America #freedom

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

@LumpyItalian brushed me off for some woman who flipped me off. Our friendship has crumbled and the Mets shall forever be cursed to 20 win seasons

[Rob Smith @RobSmith956385]

Not sure if my post actually went through but to sum it up I hate @LumpyItalian