Robert Davie

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

@PodfathersShow Hahaha.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Just learned that supposedly elephants respond to us like we respond to puppies. *elephant reaction to me after a long day* “Come here, you short nosed MF and let me hug you!”

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

@Alex_Mojo_773 haha! Ah the pondering of wise men

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

It's not what you say, it's how you say it. For instance, get f*cked. Well, never mind that still comes across the same.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Did I just see a #vapepouch hanging from someone's belt? Or maybe that was for his balls.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

fun fall recipe. take a smaller decorative pumpkin, cut a hole to size. Place in microwave for 10mins and enjoy #autumntreats

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Friday. My second favorite F word.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Appearently the way I hold a banana is offensive.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

You know how some people pronounce wolf, "wuff"? Try saying werewolf, "werewuff". Not scary at all.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Bitch, don't speak "Starbucks". Just order a small, medium, or large.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Another reason I love my city. #bridgetown #pdx

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

@O_Mosqueda23 it's like a solar eclipse. You rarely see it, and when you do you cant stop staring.

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

You're wearing the tightest skinny jeans ever, yet still manage to have a saggy ass. Kudos to you sir! #hipster

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

My MedicAlert bracelet says “Squirter.”

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Knuckle tats: MOIS TDAD

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Did the lady next to me just call Kaepernick, "Kapi"? What a lazy #clunge #oxygenthief

[Robert Davie @Robber385]

Just found out I'm unbeatable at connect 4. Now to get paid for it. #savantproblems #blessed