Dr. Robin Stern

Author of #TheGaslightEffect, Co-creator @RULERapproach, and Senior Advisor to the Director @YaleEmotion #Emotionallearning

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

I'm excited to announce that my book, #TheGaslightEffectRecoveryGuide is now available on all platforms! This time, as an interactive workbook, readers can learn about gaslighting & how to recover through prompts, checklists, quizzes & reflective questions https://t.co/xkm3fUkYYH

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

A parent’s fear can be real. The desire to protect can be real. But if that fear comes out as shame, a child may not hear protection.

She may hear, “Something is wrong with me.”

From my conversation with Margot Magowan on The Gaslight Effect.
https://t.co/ILXZAD0eLn

#parenting

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

Over time, that fear steals your joy, your confidence, and your sense of who you are.
But their explosions do not get to define your worth. You are a good and worthy person who deserves to be loved, regardless of what your gaslighter thinks.

🔗https://t.co/FeLtQK9sTs

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

If you live braced for the next blow-up, you already know the fear of the Emotional Apocalypse.

#Gaslighting

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

One raised voice. One slammed door. One look.
And suddenly you’re doing whatever it takes to keep the peace—agreeing when you don’t, silencing what you feel, shrinking so their rage doesn’t “flatten” everything again.

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

Francesca Fontana’s story names a quieter inheritance of family gaslighting: the fear of resembling the person who hurt you. But guilt is not proof that the pattern won. It can become information, and then a choice.

The Gaslight Effect Podcast:
https://t.co/8p4TAav7pm

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

Asking a child to carry an adult's secret is a profound burden. Francesca Fontana shared how she learned at age 6 that her father's deception was just private family stuff. What happens to a child when they are taught that telling the truth is a betrayal?
https://t.co/8p4TAav7pm

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

After gaslighting, people often distrust their own feelings. But emotions are signals. Francesca Fontana’s story asks us to listen to the part of us that notices when the story, the promise, and the reality do not match. 🔗 https://t.co/8p4TAav7pm

#GaslightingRecovery #Emotions

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

Quick test: do you leave these conversations thinking less about what happened and more about how to explain yourself better next time?

That’s the trap.

Save this for the moment you start second guessing yourself.
🔗https://t.co/FeLtQK9sTs

#Gaslighting

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

You are allowed to understand more and still say: I know what happened to me.

Full episode with Francesca Fontana on The Gaslight Effect Podcast.
https://t.co/m2twTNNbpv

#Gaslighting #Recovery

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

This is one of the most difficult parts of gaslighting recovery, because empathy can quietly turn into self-abandonment when you are asked to protect someone else’s story at the expense of your own.

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

The Gaslight Effect Podcast with guest Francesca Fontana: https://t.co/TU7WvjnC1J

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

The “maybe this time” feeling is one of the most seductive parts of gaslighting recovery because no one can prove with absolute certainty that the person will never change. 

But the question becomes: how much of your life are you being asked to keep spending on that possibility?

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

@drmarcbrackett A memorable moment - and affirming story !! and a lovely way for the driver to show gratitude by sharing his story -

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

Francesca Fontana’s story reminds us how quickly children learn which questions are welcome, which truths are dangerous, and which silences they are expected to carry.

🔗 https://t.co/TU7WvjnC1J 

#Gaslighting #Families #Secrecy

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

This is where the episode goes far beyond one family story. Francesca is asking a question many people are afraid to ask out loud: can someone truly love me while continuing to hide, deny, deceive, or manipulate my reality?

https://t.co/TU7WvjnC1J

#gaslighting #relationships

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

When a parent repeatedly breaks their promises, a child is left to navigate the confusing gap between words & reality. Francesca Fontana shared the painful realization that her father was comfortable with lying. How do you learn to trust again after that?
https://t.co/TU7WvjnC1J

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

The decision is not the end of the emotional story. People still have to share schools, sidewalks, meetings, and community afterward. What helps people move forward after a decision they did not agree with?

Scott Levy on The Gaslight Effect Podcast.

https://t.co/dbBIXBrzDE

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

It is so tempting to want one person to just take charge and fix things. But as Scott Levy points out, consolidating power means surrendering our collective voice. Why are we so quick to trade our agency just to avoid the messiness of collaboration?
https://t.co/dbBIXBrzDE

[Dr. Robin Stern @RobinSStern]

Staying curious when you feel attacked is one of the hardest things a person can do. Scott Levy & I talked about the intense vulnerability of public leadership and why curiosity matters more than expertise. Why do we demand perfection instead of honesty? https://t.co/dbBIXBrzDE

[Marc Brackett @drmarcbrackett]

Love Viktor Frankl’s work :) The Meta-Moment technique I co-developed with @RobinSStern, and write about in Dealing with Feeling, is built for exactly this space between activation and response.

We all get activated. The question is whether we let the feeling drive the reaction, or pause long enough to choose a response that serves who we want to be. That space is a skill, and it can change everything.

The full conversation is on the Mighty Pursuit podcast: https://t.co/L7slovV8Zc

#MightyPursuit #DealingwithFeeling #MetaMoment #BestSelf