EVERYBODY google “florida man” followed by your birthday (florida man august 22) and tell me what you get. mine is Florida Man tries to attack neighbor with tractor
When I was in 1st grade, my teacher told me this kid named Eric was gonna be more successful than me because he listened when she said “criss cross apple sauce”. Well Eric’s in prison Mrs. Evans so fuck you
All the parents in grade school that thought I was a bad influence to their kids just because I had to grow up quicker than the rest need to apologize because now their kids are doing lines of coke on the week days and I’m in bed by 8 with a good head on my shoulders.