Roger Cosmonkey

I was shot into space by some bozos at NASA. Now I'm back, stinky rich and packing a raygun. JEALOUS??

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Ready for my closeup!
#AnimationTest

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

OH SNAP! Is she single? 🐵
#SpaceJunkIsAEuphamism

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Oh, you misguided little babydolls, you may think the town of Monkey’s Eyebrow does not exist. But I assure you it does.

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

For the last time,
MONKEYPOX = NOT MY FAULT

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Anytime I pee my pants, I just say that I “inked an overall deal.”

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

I know this is the WORST time to buy my own construction crane, but clearly I have to get one this weekend.

[Morissa Schwartz 📚 (Dr. Rissy) @MorissaSchwartz]

Wait, what? https://t.co/lkJ1JgPrXP

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Ice cream flavor “Chunky Monkey“ is offensive.

I didn’t say it isn’t true. Just offensive.

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Decided to call my group of friends “Da Boyz,” with a Z.

This is already super annoying to my friends, especially the girls.
#DaBoyz

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Tonight the gang wanted to watch “Robocop” and for a moment I thought they said “Rowboat Cop” and now I want to see that movie instead. 🚢👮🏻‍♂️

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Sometimes I wear rubber gloves for boots.
#MonkeyFeet

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

He’s a big fan.
By that I mean he needed an XL.

[Cory Edwards @RealCoryEdwards]

New T-Shirt!
@RogerCosmonkey

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

I’m gonna need this on a T-Shirt. #MonkeyPower

[Scott Kinney @kidkosmic]

WIP digital ink/color I'm doing over Terry Parr's pencils for my Retro Expo mascot character "Rocko." The first show is July 23 & 24 in Plano, TX! https://t.co/DyFalyKaM4

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Fighting @Krogzilla is like the $1.99 version of a Kong/Godzilla fight.
Besides, I’d slap the khaki’s off him.
#KrogzillaVsRoger

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

@Krogzilla What’s the prize? I give you a JOB?
Call me when you’re taller.
#KrogzillaVsRoger

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Man, 2020 was like the “me” of years.

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Quarantining hasn’t really been as bad as people say. Just find hobbies around the house!

Example: I like to rollerskate in my ballroom or ride my camel on the tennis court.

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

So this Hollywood pencil-neck says he wants to turn my life into a TV show.

I said, “Grab a pen. To write the check. It needs to be a big one.”

Do people use pens anymore? Or checks?
Or TVs?

[Roger Cosmonkey @RogerCosmonkey]

Having hands for feet makes it much easier to cheat at cards.